Infected
by MadameCissy
Summary: When the dead begin to walk the earth, a small group of survivors fight for their lives. Amanda, Olivia and the others are left to find their way through a world now crawling with the undead. Is there a chance they can find some kind of safety and can two people really fall in love when it seems there isn't anything left in this world to live for? [AU Rolivia]
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** When the dead begin to walk the earth a small group of survivors fight for their lives. Amanda, Olivia and the others are left to find their way through a world now crawling with the undead. Is there a chance they can find some kind of safety and can two people really fall in love when it seems there isn't anything left in this world to live for? [_AU Rolivia_]

**Rating:** T for violence, gore, sexual themes and other issues

**Pairing:** Rolivia

**Note:** I've been wanting to write a zombie apocalypse story for a long time. I am not normally keen on writing AU for something that doesn't already have a fantasy background but I just couldn't shake the idea of this so here we go.

**Video:** Youtube/watch?v=-OdXtCWPLj4&feature=

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**Chapter 1**

_"This is the way the world ends_  
_Not with a bang but a whimper."_  
_~ T.S Elliot_

~()~

October in New York City meant coloured leaves on the trees It means late afternoon sunshine and early morning rain showers and midnight thunderstorms. It meant streets full of tourists and foreign languages on every street corner, all celebrating and admiring the American concept of Halloween. There was something about fall that made the city look and feel different. Perhaps it was the Jack O Lanterns with their creepy faces, sitting in shop windows and staring at innocent passers-by. Maybe it was the thought of winter soon drawing in, the nights becoming colder and darker with every passing day.

Crime didn't know the difference between seasons and for the detectives of the Special Victims Unit, this was most definitely true. They worked day in, day out and were faced with some of the horrors that human beings were capable off. Though there always appeared to be a spike in crime rates throughout the summer months and around the holidays, there was something about the approach of Halloween that filled even the most seasoned detectives with a sense of dread.

Sargent Olivia Benson looked around the SVU squad room. It was Friday afternoon, just after four o'clock, and she sensed the anticipation amongst the group of detectives looking forward to a rare weekend off. She clutched a piece of paper in her hand, wondering which member of her trusted team would be the one to face the latest call out and the possibility of seeing their weekend ruined.

Nick had plans. He'd mentioned spending time with daughter this weekend and Olivia couldn't find it in her heart to separate him from Zara. Her eyes continued to drift around the room and landed on Fin. He would be spending the weekend with his son and fiancé to celebrate his son's birthday. Olivia's eyes eventually came to a rest on Amanda and heaved a sigh.

"Rollins?" She called the southern blonde's name and the younger woman looked up.

A single look at Olivia's face said enough and Amanda groaned. "Really? On a Friday afternoon?"

"Sorry," Olivia said apologetically. "If it makes you feel any better, I'll come with."

Amanda stood up, grabbed her jacket of the back of her chair and threw it over her shoulders. "Where are we goin'?"

"Upper East Side," Olivia said as she double checked the address on the piece of paper. "Cleaning lady found the body of a woman. Melinda wants us there."

"Warner called it in?" Amanda arched an eyebrow.

"She didn't say why," Olivia added as she and Amanda walked out of the squad room and towards the elevator. She pressed the button and the doors slid open. She stepped inside and Amanda followed. Olivia's eyes met the blonde's blue. "But if she thinks she needs SUV she must have a good reason."

The sun was beginning to set behind the New York skyline as Olivia drove them across town to the crime scene. It would be dark in an hour and Olivia hoped they would at least have left the crime scene by then. The rush hour traffic trying to get back to the precinct would be an absolute nightmare and Olivia made a mental note to call Brian to let him know she wouldn't be home for dinner. It looked like she would be having yet another night of take-out.

The scene itself wasn't hard to find. Several police cars had pulled up outside an apartment building and yellow tape cordoned off half the block. Uniformed officers kept curious bystanders at bay and Olivia and Amanda flashed their badges before ducking underneath the tape and walking into the building. All they had to do was follow the sound of voices to find the apartment they were looking for.

When they entered the apartment the first thing Olivia noticed was the smell of iron. She knew what this meant and a sickening feeling settled in her stomach. She glanced at Amanda and noticed the blonde's nose wrinkle. She'd smelt it too.

"My God," Amanda whispered as they walked into what was the living room. "What the hell happened here?"

There was blood everywhere. It had sprayed up against the walls, the ceiling and covered the window. It was what caused the smell of iron. There were a pool of blood on the floor too and the two detectives shared a confused, slightly horrified look. Both women were trying to determine, in their heads, what kind of weapon could have caused such a cast off.

"In here," a familiar voice called from the kitchen and the two detectives followed the sound of Melinda Warner's voice.

They found the medical examiner on her knees next to the dining table and from where they stood Amanda and Olivia could only see the victim's legs. The skin was a shade of dull grey laced with purplish blue. She didn't wear any shoes and Olivia looked at the bright red nail polish on the toes. She then let her eyes drift further upwards as Melinda stood up and her hand shot up to her mouth, smothering the outcry of horror that would have escaped her.

Amanda turned away, overwhelmed by the sudden bile that rose up into the back of her throat. She heaved but managed to keep it down. She only stopped when she felt Olivia's hand on the small of her back and looked over her shoulder. Olivia's kind eyes met hers and she could see the older woman was as sickened as she was. The putrid smell of death began to find its way up her nose and added to the scene in front of her it made her feel weak.

"What happened?" Olivia managed to get the words out as she looked at Melinda. "What did this?"

The woman's body was, by lack of a better word, mangled. A large gaping hole on her shoulder was responsible for the blood everywhere. The blood had sprayed from the body up the walls and judging from the marks across the floor she had tried to escape her attacker. The colour of her eyes had faded into a cold, haunting shade of white. Dried blood clung to the side of her face, her neck and her chest. Her shirt had been ripped and her elegant yet simple black slacks torn.

"Someone with a real anger problem," Warner answered as she pointed at the bruising at the side of the head. "Blunt force trauma indicates she was knocked down."

"But the blood…" Amanda stammered.

"I know," Warner answered. "The rest of her injuries were sustained while she was still alive."

"And that?" Olivia pointed at the obvious piece of flesh missing along the woman's neck.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but the bite mark looks human."

"Human?!" Amanda echoed. "You mean another person did that to her?"

"Looks that way. I might be wrong and I won't know for sure until all tests are completed but I haven't seen any evidence of a dog living here, which would have been my first suggestion if there had been one," Warner answered. She shook her head. "My guess is that the perp got in, knocked her down, tried to rape her and in doing so somehow bit her. He must have hit the carotid artery and she bled out in minutes."

"This guy has some serious anger issues," Amanda said and she fought to suppress her gag reflex. She let her eyes wander around the kitchen. A chair had been knocked over and a vase lay shattered on the floor. The petals of the white lilies were stained with blood. The black and white photos on the wall showed their victim at a happier time.

"Her name is Louise Dennis," Olivia said as she checked her notebook. "She lives alone." She heaved a sigh and looked back over her shoulder at the door. Her gut instinct told her to get out of here and it wasn't often that she felt the need to leave. "I guess we'll go talk to the neighbours to see if anyone saw or heard anything."

"What's the time of death?" Amanda asked.

"No more than two hours ago," Warner answered and scribbled the information down on her notepad. "Perp must have only just left when the cleaning lady arrived."

"We should talk to her," Amanda suggested as she and Olivia turned away from Louise Dennis' mangled body. "The time window for the perp to have gotten away is small. Someone may have seen something. Maybe she did."

It turned out that nobody had.

The frustrating part about trying to solve a crime was trying to find the missing pieces and fit them together to form a whole picture. So far all they had were gaps in their timeline and no answers. It seemed most of Louise's neighbours had still been at work when she was attacked and the cleaning lady only came back because she had forgotten her purse earlier that morning. The woman was so distraught she could barely string a sentence together and Olivia sent her off with one of the paramedics to be treated for shock.

She and Amanda stood outside the front of the building. Darkness had fallen over the city and the distance the heard the sound of sirens wailing. Instinctively her eyes shot towards the end of the street. The sound of sirens was nothing new in New York but something about it sent a shiver down her spine. The sound continued, indicated that several emergency vehicles were on their way.

"Looks like something's cracking off," Amanda pointed out, having heard the sirens too.

"As long as it doesn't interfere with us getting home," Olivia sighed.

Her ears pricked up when she heard one of the police radios crackle and the uniformed officer leant into the car to answer the call. Olivia couldn't hear what dispatch told him but he turned around, summoned his partner and they jumped into their car. The tires squealed as they reversed and drove off into the direction where they'd heard the other sirens.

Olivia ran her fingers through her hair and looked at Olivia. She could tell the other woman was tired. "What do we do now?"

"Go back, finish off the necessary stuff for tonight and leave the rest till morning," Olivia answered. She jerked her head towards the apartment building. "Warner isn't going to do the autopsy till tomorrow morning so until then we've got a whole lot of nothing."

Amanda's attention shifted from Olivia to the sound of a helicopter flying over and she searched the sky, recognising one of NYPD's helicopters. She pushed her hands into the pockets of her jacket as she shuddered. "That must be some bad accident."

"Rush hour," Olivia groaned as she walked back to the car and fumbled with the keys. Her eyes darkened a little as she opened the door and looked at Amanda. "Bad things happen when people are trying to get home for the weekend."

Amanda didn't answer and climbed into the passenger seat. She leant back and waited for Olivia to start the engine. Just as they were about to leave the crime scene behind she noticed two more cop cars shooting past. Their sirens were on and they seemed to be in a hurry. She looked over her shoulder but the cars had already disappeared. A nervous feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.

"You don't think it's something serious, do you?" she asked, fixing her eyes on Olivia.

Olivia pointed at the radio. "If it was we would have heard something by now."

She started the engine and managed to cut into the traffic, starting their route back to the precinct but by the time they had driven a couple of blocks they hit a large amount of traffic and Olivia slammed on the brakes when a large SUV unexpectedly appeared in front of her. She swore under her breath as her hand slammed against the horn but the driver seemed to ignore her.

"What the hell is going on?" Amanda wondered. "What's with all the traffic? I know it's rush hour but this isn't even moving!"

"All available units please respond to the nearest precinct." The woman's crackling voice came through over the radio. "I repeat, all available units please report to the nearest precinct."

Olivia's eyes met Amanda's and the blonde detective recognised the hint of fear.

"Which one's the nearest?" she asked breathlessly.

Olivia's eyes darted around. "The 21st, I think. It's a couple of blocks from here."

"What do you think happened?"

Olivia switched on the blue and red flashing light on the dashboard and hit the gas pedal. The car made an unexpected right turn. Amanda was slammed into her window with force and grabbed hold of the door to keep herself up. Her eyes snapped to Olivia as the brunette detective managed to cut herself a way through the ever increasing flow of traffic.

"I don't know but whatever it is, it isn't good."

It took them almost half an hour to get to the 21st precinct and when they pulled up outside the front of the building Olivia noticed they weren't the only unit to have responded to the call. Several other unmarked as well as marked cars had parked across the street, creating somewhat chaotic scenes.

She and Amanda got out and joined a small group of uniformed officers making their way inside the building. She could sense the fear and the anticipation and realised that most of these officers, like herself, had been around during 9/11. She knew the fear in their eyes. There had never been a day where she had been more frightened. The not knowing and the sense of danger hanging over their heads changed something inside of them. No cop in the city was ever the same again after that day.

The television in the downstairs reception area was on and the room was full of uniformed and plain clothed cops. All eyes were fixed on the screen and there was a deadly silence; the only sound came from the news reporter's voice explaining to them what it was they were seeing and Olivia's eyes narrowed the longer she looked at the screen.

"We are reporting to you from Brooklyn where an angry and out of control mob has taken to attacking unsuspecting bystanders," the male reporter said.

"My God," Amanda breathed as she stared up at the screen and took in the scenes.

There was police everywhere. Several buildings were on fire and the sound of gunfire was almost continuous. The air was thick with smoke but they could still see the bodies lying on the ground. Most people were running and their screams were filled with terror. From the clouds more figures appeared but these were walking slowly, their faces contorted into masks of anger.

"We don't know exactly what we're dealing with here but some reports say we may be looking at an outbreak of rabies that has spread to humans," the report said. "NYPD urges everyone to stay indoors. Do _not_ go outside. If you live in Brooklyn the advice is to lock your doors and windows and stay inside. We will continue to supply you with information. The mayor has reported the city is now on lockdown."

Amanda turned to Olivia. "Lockdown? What on Earth is going on?"

Olivia swallowed hard. "I don't know but there is one thing I do know." She tore her eyes away from the screen and looked back over her shoulder. The door to the precinct was still wide open and it unsettled her. "This isn't rabies."

"Then what is it?"

"Something far, far worse."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Three hours.

Three hours was all it took for a vibrant city to turn into hell. Endless traffic jams blocked the streets as people frantically tried to get out of the city even after the Mayor's warning of going into lockdown. It seemed his words were lost on those fearing for their safety. With their cars packed full of their belongings, families fled New York, hoping that there would be safety beyond the city's borders. The roads leading to the tunnels and bridges were jammed whereas the roads leading into the city were empty. The bright headlights of the cars lit up the evening skies as across town the first power cut caused a part of Brooklyn to go dark.

There were helicopters in the sky and the sound of gunfire was endless. The army had arrived only half an hour after the announcement of lockdown. The smell of smoke travelled across the city as fires erupted and buildings slowly crumbled. From the shadows of darkness more and more figures emerged, their faces contorted and disfigured and their eyes empty and dead. It was as if the ports of hell had opened to let the dead walk the Earth.

Olivia and Amanda had been holed up inside the 21st precinct together with another group of cops. Throughout the last three hours small groups had left in an attempt to find loved ones, family or to try and protect the city. It had caused arguments between those who left and those who stayed behind. Fear crippled all of them but the desire to be with loved ones seemed to conquer most of that fear. Some believed all hope was already lost and it was best to stay where they were but most believed that if they didn't at least try to find their families, they would never forgive themselves.

Amanda looked at Olivia. The brunette stood by one of the windows and hadn't spoken for the last half an hour. The street outside was empty and quiet. Too quiet. They knew what was coming. Soon the devastation that was already destroying parts of New York would be upon them too. They'd tried calling the others back at the precinct but cell phone service dead and phone lines were down. They had no idea if they were alive.

"What are we gonna do?" Amanda asked as she crossed the room and put a hand on Olivia's arm. Until this moment they had remained where they were but she could tell from the darkened look in Olivia's eyes that this was not the older woman's ultimate plan.

"I don't know," Olivia admitted. Her mind took her back to 9/11. Her first instinct was to go to the scene to see if anyone needed help. But this wasn't a terrorist attacks and those who were hurt were beyond help. She had considered trying to flee to her apartment but she knew it would be a futile point. It wasn't the kind of place where they could survive. "I keep thinking we should try to get back to the precinct."

The thought had crossed Amanda's mind and with a heavy heart she fixed her eyes on the small group of uniformed officers on the other side of the room. They all sat together, their backs against the wall. Nobody spoke. The silence had fallen some time ago. Going back to the 16th meant leaving them. So far the atmosphere inside the precinct had been calm. People had managed to not let their fear overpower them but as the hours began to pass, the desperation grew bigger. Sooner or later it would take hold.

"You think they're still there?" Amanda asked, taking her eyes off the others and looking back at Olivia.

"I hope so. It's further away from the chaos so there's a good chance," Olivia answered. Her eyes found Amanda's. "There's a chance they went home just before this started. If they did then I don't know what their chances are but if they're at the precinct…" She swallowed hard. The bitterness in the back of her throat didn't go away. She looked at Amanda. "We are only going to get one chance at this and I don't know if we'll make it. It seems things are changing fast out there."

Amanda heaved a sigh. Her heart was pounding in her head and her hands were clammy. She felt the sweat drip down her back even through it wasn't that hot in here. Her shirt stuck to her skin. "You really think this is it? The apocalypse?"

Olivia's eyes were hollow and her voice flat. "I don't know."

She looked back out of the window. The TV had died an hour earlier when the power died out and the journalist doing the reporting screamed. The screen going black had confirmed her fears. The reporter was either injured or had fled. But the images had given her an idea of what was happening. Brooklyn was burning and whatever was responsible for it was making its way across town fast. The smell of putrid smoke had already found its way inside the precinct. The city was slowly falling apart.

Olivia reached into her pocket and found her car keys. They chimed together, an almost haunting sound in the otherwise quiet precinct, and Amanda looked up. Their eyes found each other and they didn't need words. They silently understood each other and without breaking eye contact, they moved towards the door. Amanda's hand lingered on her gun and she watched Olivia do the same.

"What are you doing?!" one of the uniformed officers yelled when he saw Olivia was about to open the door.

She turned around. "We have to find our friends," she insisted. "We can't stay here!"

"Have you lost your minds?! Those things will kill you! You'll never make it!"

_Kill._

The word hit her hard. This was what the world had come to. Kill or be killed. Fight and survive or die. There was nothing in between.

"We have to try," Amanda answered before Olivia had a chance to. For a moment she felt the tears burn behind her eyes but she wasn't going to let her emotions guide her, not when she needed to be level headed and sane of mind. "My partner, he's out there. So is hers. I am not leaving him to die!"

The uniformed cop looked at them for a long, hard moment before turning away. Olivia understood what he said without using words. It was every man for himself now. They were on their own.

"Lock the door once we've gone," she said before stepping outside. The chilling wind ripped through her. "Barricade it, protect the windows." She let her eyes wander around the group. She counted six. Out of a group of almost fifty, only these six had chosen to stay here. She didn't dare think what had become of the others. "Stay safe."

She slammed the door behind her and Amanda and her eyes shot down the road. It was quiet. No pedestrians. No cars. In the distance she heard police sirens and care alarms and when she looked up she saw thick, black smoke circling up into the sky. Her eyes snapped back at Amanda. The blonde had drawn her gun.

"We get it the car and we drive," Olivia said firmly, briefly grabbing hold of Amanda's arm and forcing her to look at her. "We don't stop for anything or anyone, understood?"

Amanda quickly nodded and the two of them crossed the road to their abandoned car. Olivia climbed behind the wheel, switched the engine on and buckled up. She then made sure the doors were locked before putting the car in reverse. The tyres squeezed as the car did a complete 180 and the tail lights faded in the dark.

Amanda tried the radio channels but all she got was static noise. It seemed the city had been plunged into complete darkness and isolation. When she looked beside her she saw that Olivia's face was a mask of anger. The brunette detective's eyes were dark and strands of brown hair clung to her forehead. The knuckles on her fingers where white because she clutched the steering wheel so firmly. She was speeding but Amanda didn't care.

Olivia knew the city like the back of her hand. She grew up here. New York was her home. This was the place where she had fought against crime and against her own demons. This was home and that knowledge and understanding now allowed her to find them a way through the abandoned streets whilst avoiding the traffic leaving the city. Her eyes were peeled on the road ahead but she couldn't ignore the sights of abandoned cars, the doors wide open and dark trails of blood across this sidewalk.

"Oh my God," Amanda whispered when she saw the mangled body of a person, she couldn't tell if they were male or female, in the middle of the road. Olivia swirled the car to avoid hitting what was left of the body before regaining control and continuing their race across town.

The figure loomed up out the darkness, standing in the middle of the road. Its distorted face was lit up by the headlights and Amanda looked straight into its hollow, dead eyes. Part of the face was missing and blood dripped from his mouth onto his clothes. Fine strand of dark brown hair fell down the sides of his pale white face. The part that had once been human was long gone and all that remained was the monstrous shell that was left behind.

"LIV!" Amanda shouted and was almost slammed into the dashboard when Olivia hit the brakes. The air was knocked out of her lungs and her muscles burnt in protest. The pain was sharp. When she looked up she saw him come closer, one hand stretched out.

Olivia put the car into reverse but when she hit the gas pedal the engine roared but nothing happened. Her eyes snapped from the gear box to the creature now only a couple of metres in front of them and she tried again, frantically planting her foot down. The engine roared a second time and then stalled. Panic overwhelmed her and her heart pounded in her head so loudly she thought it would leave her deaf. The back of her throat tasted like sick as she desperately tried to get the car to move.

The sound of his hands against the passenger window was deafening and Amanda somehow managed to unbuckle her seatbelt before moving across, ending up in Olivia's lap. Her shoulders pressed Olivia back into her seat, making it hard for to try and start the car again. The blonde's weight pressed down on Olivia and Amanda's eyes fixed on the creature outside her window. Its teeth were dark and stained with blood. His hand hit the glass a second time and she yelled when she saw the cracks appear.

"Liv, move the damn car!" she shouted and shielded her face with her hands when the shards of glass began for rain down on her. "Move the car, Liv! MOVE THE CAR!"

Its arm reached inside the car and Amanda felt its fingers graze across her boot. Instinctively she kicked and recognised the sickening sound of bones breaking but the creature didn't back off. It knew no pain. The deep, low growling noise coming from his throat made her stomach turn and the stench of death filled the car. He clawed at her again, only just missing her ankle.

His upper body was almost in the car and Amanda pulled her knees up towards her chest. She was now almost entirely lying across Olivia's lap and Olivia continued to try and start the car. The ignition clicked but the engine didn't start.

Amanda stared at the monster like creature as his pale hand with long nails reached for her legs. Her eyes squeezed shut when she felt his hand grab hold of her leg. Terror overwhelmed her when she felt herself being dragged across the seat, away from Olivia. She reached out, her fingers digging deep into the other woman's jacket in an attempt to hold on.

"LIV!" She cried. Her voice was raw and hoarse. "Liv, please!"

The gunshot was deafening and left her ears ringing.

Slowly Amanda opened her eyes and saw the creature still hanging through the broken window. Thick, sticky, dark red blood poured from the hole in its skull onto the seat and she released her breath. In her chest her heart hammered against her ribcage. Tears suddenly streamed down her face and she jumped when she felt a hand on her hair and her head snapped up. She looked up into Olivia's brown eyes.

The gun trembled between Olivia's fingers as she looked down at the blonde woman still sprawled across her lap. Amanda's blue eyes reflected fear and Olivia saw the tears. She reached out a shaking hand and let her fingers ghost across Amanda's cheek as their gazes continued to hold each other. For a few moments neither of them spoke.

"You ok?" Olivia breathed when Amanda finally moved.

"Yeah," she stammered. She couldn't move. Her body almost seemed paralysed. "I think so."

"Did he get you?"

"Nuh-uh."

Amanda used her foot to push the now lifeless body out of the car window. It landed in the middle of the road with a soft thud. She shifted back into her own seat with the support of Olivia. She was careful to avoid the blood that had pooled in the chair. Her hands were shaking and she peered through the broken window at the creature outside the car. The bile rose up in the back of her throat and her stomach emptied itself, the content landing all over the creature Olivia had killed.

Olivia waited until Amanda had gotten back into her seat. She looked pale and beads of sweat glistened on her forehead. She wiped the remainder of the vomit from her chin with her sleeve and kept her eyes fixed on the road ahead, unwilling to meet Olivia's eyes. Olivia's fingers turned the key again but the engine didn't roar. It took four more attempts to get the car moving but when it finally did she sighed in relief and continued their journey towards the 16th precinct.

The streets remained empty for the rest of their journey and when the precinct building appeared at the end of the street, Olivia smiled to herself in relief. She drove the car around the back of the building, parked it and got out. She then ran across the parking lot and closed the metal gate that normally kept civilians out. There was a chain with a coded padlock and she put it on, effectively securing the parking lot and the handful off cars parked there.

When she turned around she saw Amanda standing by the back entrance, her gun drawn. She waited for Olivia and when the brunette reached her, she opened the door, stepped inside and aimed her gun. The building was shrouded in darkness and shadows. The power had been cut. Amanda reached for her phone and found the all that turned into a flashlight. The beam was weak it but it allowed them to see.

"It looks abandoned," Olivia whispered and Amanda turned her head.

"So did that street." Her face was emotionless. "I'm not taking any chances."

"We'll have to take the stairs," Olivia said. "The power's off. It's the only way."

SVU was on the fifth floor, the top floor off the building. The floors below were occupied by Homicide and Vice, the Drug unit and Cold Case. Normally it was crowded with people but now all there seemed to be was a haunting silence.

The two detectives climbed the flights of stairs leading them to the fifth floor. At Olivia's suggestion they avoided checking any of the other units for survivors. They could do that once they had found anyone still alive at SVU.

They reached the fifth floor and Amanda and Olivia both pushed against the double doors leading to the squad room. It was dark but they recognised the distinct sounds of voices. The beam of Amanda's improvised flash light danced across the squad room and came to a rest in a corner. There, their faces now lit by the white light, stood Fin and Amaro with his daughter Zara, Cragen and Melinda Warner. The latter looked rattled.

"Liv! Amanda!" Fin's voice was laced with relief when he saw the two women.

Amanda and Olivia rushed across the squad room and joined their friends. They shared hugs and once they had all let go of each other, Olivia looked around the small group of people. There were seven of them.

"We checked the other floors," Fin said. It was as if he'd read Olivia's mind and her eyes fixed on him. He knew he was about to shatter her hopes. "There's nobody else here."

"What?" Amanda breathed and her heart sank. "Where is everyone?"

"Most people had already gone home," Cragen said. "They must have gotten caught up in the traffic. Or worse. I heard the reports on the radio and was two blocks from here. I found Nick and Zara in the parking lot."

"My neighbourhood is war zone," Nick said. He'd wrapped his arm protectively around his daughter. "I could only think of one place to go."

"What about Ken and Alejandro?" Amanda looked at Fin. "Where are they?"

"They were running late. When I last spoke to them they were still in Jersey. Ken said they were going to get out as fast as they can." Fin chewed his lip. "That's the last I heard."

Olivia looked at Melinda. She hadn't said a word since they walked in. "You ok?"

"That body we found," she said softly. "It came back to life in the middle of the morgue. Ripped one of my assistants to pieces."

"So this is it," Nick said as he looked around the group. He looked defeated. "This is the end."

Amanda looked at Olivia. "So what's next? We've got nowhere left to go. What do we do?"

Olivia let her eyes wander around the squad room. They wouldn't be working here anymore.

"We survive."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Darkness fell and with the shadows came the realisation that they were trapped. They couldn't leave the building anymore as with the hours passing, more and more crawlers, as Olivia had called them, had begun to fill the streets. In the last hour alone they'd spotted a dozen walking past the precinct building, up and down the street. They'd managed to secure the building's three exits by pushing heavy furniture against the doors and tying them down with wires they'd pulled from computers and phone lines.

Amanda turned away from the window. She stood in what had been Cragen's office, or Olivia's office. Her eyes were dark as she pushed her hands into her pockets and walked back into the squad room. It didn't look like a place where they used to work. Several desks had been put on top of each other and placed against the double doors so that only one door was now operational for them to get in and out. The remainder of the furniture had been placed in straight lines across the squad room, creating a barrier effect. In the darkness she could barely make out the shapes of her friend's faces.

"What's it like out there?" Olivia asked as she wiped the sweat of her forehead.

"There's at least two dozen of them now and more are coming," Amanda answered. She turned her head and focused on Melinda. "Do you have any idea why this happened?"

The medical examiner shook her head. She'd asked herself that question more than once. "I wish I did."

"Is it a virus?" Fin wondered out loud.

Nick couldn't suppress a smile. "If Munch were here he'd say is some secret government project gone wrong."

There was a silence. Munch wasn't here. He'd retired months earlier and nobody knew where he was now. Olivia didn't want to admit it to herself but with the city in the state it was, she doubted he'd gotten very far. Whatever had caused this had swamped New York in a matter of hours. Once a vibrant metropolis, it had now been reduced to a burning ghost town.

"Whatever it is, the incubation time seems to vary per person," Melinda said. "The woman we found in the apartment had been dead for a couple of hours and it took another hour and a half before she turned. But Nick says he saw someone being bitten in his street and they turned within minutes after dying."

Olivia looked around the group of survivors. This was it now. This was all they had. Whatever was inside this precinct would have to help them get through the night but there would be more nights to come. She chewed the inside of her cheek.

"We need a plan," she said as she sat down on the ground and pulled her knees up towards her chest. The others followed and they sat down in a circle. "This is our shelter. We need to make sure we can survive here for as long as it takes. We need food, water, medical supplies, weapons, ammunition and batteries."

"The evidence room should hold plenty of guns and rounds," Nick piped up and Olivia nodded. "Not to mention there's the storage room. It's got a weapon's locker in the back. We should be able to find a decent amount of stuff in there."

"Food and water is going to be a different problem," Amanda interjected. "We don't know how long we'll have water before that's cut off too." She glanced around. When they first started securing the squad room they'd discovered that the water was still running but nobody knew for how long. They'd filled as many mugs, glasses and bottles they could find from the taps in the toilets and they now stood in what had once been the coffee corner. "There's no food here either other than some of the cramp from the vending machines downstairs."

"We'll take that for now," Olivia decided. "But tomorrow, when it's light, we'll have to consider going out to find food and batteries." Her voice trembled a little at the thought of going back outside. "There are a few bodegas on this block and the next. If we're lucky they haven't been raided yet. We take whatever we can get."

Amanda looked at Olivia. Throughout all of this she hadn't mentioned Brian but she knew the brunette was worried for him. He'd been at work when things started to go down and she'd been unable to contact him. Amanda didn't have anybody in New York to worry about other than the people in this room and the thought of losing any one of them terrified her. She averted her eyes when Olivia briefly looked up and met her gaze.

"We've got the cribs with plenty of beds," said Cragen. He looked tired and suddenly old beyond his years. "It's late. There's nothing we can do right now. We have to wait till morning. Why don't we try to get some sleep?"

They all stood up and found their way through the darkness to the cribs. There were a dozen bunk beds and single beds set up throughout the room. Olivia instinctively walked to the bed furthest away from the door and sat down. She didn't feel like sleeping even though her body was tired. She ached, both inside and out. Her eyes snapped up when Amanda sat down on the bed lined up next to her.

"You ok?" Amanda asked softly.

Olivia didn't make eye contact. "I guess."

"You did good today," Amanda reassured her. "Securing the building, thinking of the stuff we need… We've got a chance because of you, Liv."

"I don't know," Olivia said quietly. She let her eyes wander around the cribs. Cragen and Melinda had chosen two beds closer to the door. Nick, Fin and Zara were occupying the bunk beds, with Zara on top and Nick and Fin on two of the bottom bunks. "Tomorrow morning someone's going to have to risk their lives to get supplies. I don't want to have to ask that of anyone but we don't have a choice."

"We'll find a way," Amanda said and briefly covered Olivia's hand with her own. When she felt the detective's hand relax underneath her she let her fingers thread through Olivia's and squeezed gently. "We've got each other. That means we've got a chance to survive this."

"I hope you're right," Olivia answered and looked at Amanda's hand covering hers. She tried to smile but it wasn't easy. "We should try to get some sleep."

Amanda pulled her hand back, kicked off her shoes and curled up on the bed. She lay on her side, her back turned towards Olivia. Their beds were almost pushed together, with only a small gap in between them. She could hear the other woman move as the springs in the bed creaked. In her chest her heart skipped a beat as outside the sound of a car alarm going off cut through the night and forced her eyes shut, hoping and praying that sleep would come.

~()~

It was light when she woke up and she sat up with a jolt. For a precious moment she didn't remember the reason she was here, why she was asleep in one of the beds at the precinct, but then the images from the previous night flooded back into her mind and she remembered. The memories stirred a raw kind of pain inside her, the kind of pain a person felt when they had lost everything. She let her eyes wander around the room. Everything was still quiet.

"Hey."

Amanda's head snapped around when she heard Olivia's whispering voice behind her and found the brunette awake, lying on her side. Olivia's brown eyes were fixed on Amanda.

"Hey," she quietly answered and ran her fingers through her blonde hair. "What time is it?"

"Almost eight o'clock," Olivia replied as she checked her watch. Her eyes searched Amanda's face. "Did you sleep?"

"Yeah. I didn't think I would but I did. I don't think I realised how tired I was. Did you?"

Olivia nodded. "Woke up just before you did."

Amanda felt and heard her stomach growl and felt a blush creep across her cheeks. She sheepishly looked at Olivia. "Sorry."

Olivia grinned. "Mine's been doing that all night."

"We could try and break into those vending machines downstairs. I know it's not exactly a continental breakfast but it's food," Amanda suggested and Olivia nodded.

The two detectives sat up, put their shoes on and quietly padded their way across the cribs. Amanda opened the door and the two of them stepped outside. Now that the morning sunlight fell into the squad room they could really take in the scale of their barricades and Olivia felt sadness well up inside of her. She'd worked in this building for fifteen years and now it had become her prison.

Amanda walked to one of the desks and found an old plastic bad someone had shoved in one of the trash cans. A quick inspection of two others resulted in three more bags and she waved them over her head in triumph. Olivia couldn't help but smile. They had already reached the point where they were happy with finding something to transport their goods in.

"You know that food run you were talking about last night?" Amanda said as she checked the gun on her hip and drew it just before starting her way down the stairs.

"Hmm?"

"I can do it."

"Amanda…"

"You said someone had to do it." Amanda's blue eyes found Olivia's and she fixed the older woman with a piercing stare. "You're not going to like it, regardless of who offers. I said I don't mind going."

Olivia heaved a sigh. "Ok. But I'm coming with you." She raised her hand when Amanda was about to protest. "You said that someone had to do it but I won't let you go alone. Nobody goes anywhere alone. We move in groups of two or more. That way we can all protect each other."

They made their way down the flights of stairs and reached the lobby of the precinct. Olivia carefully pushed against the door, with her gun drawn, and a quick glance told her that their barricades had held throughout the night. She signalled to Amanda that it was safe to move further and they crossed the lobby towards the row of four different vending machines that lined the wall.

Amanda inspected the glass on the machine that was filled with chocolate, potato chips and cereal bars. It was thick but not thick enough to stop the barrel of her gun. She slammed it against the glass and it cracked but didn't break. She repeated the assault twice more and the glass shattered, raining over her feet and across the floor.

"Nice move, Rollins," Olivia said and copied what she'd seen Amanda do to the second vending machine. It had the same items inside as the first one.

They filled two of their bags with the food from the machine before focusing on the other two. One of them supplied tea and coffee and was useless now that the power had been cut other than holding plastic cups. But the fourth one was filled with plastic bottles with water, Coca Cola and other stuff.

It took them ten minutes and their combined strength to break the machine but eventually it gave way and they managed to load the bottles in the remaining bags. Occasionally Amanda flanked over her shoulder. The large glass windows overlooked the streets and they seemed abandoned but she knew better than to believe that. A chill crept down her spine when her eyes fixed on blood trail just outside the door. Someone had tried desperately to find shelter and had failed.

"We should go," Olivia said quietly, noticing that Amanda's eyes were fixed on the windows. "When the other are up we'll get Fin and Nick to find some way to secure the glass. I don't want those crawlers getting in."

They made their way back up the stairs and when they walked back into the squad room they found the rest of the group already up. Everyone looked in their direction when they walked in and Olivia could tell they were agitated.

"Where the hell did you go?!" Nick demanded. "We woke up to find your beds empty!"

"We went to get food," Amanda replied, her voice sharper than she had intended.

Nick's blazing eyes pierced into hers. "Next time, tell us!"

"Yes, _dad_," Amanda snapped and threw the bags on one of the desks. She grabbed herself a bottle and two chocolate bars and stormed out of the squad room back into the cribs. "Enjoy your fucking breakfast."

Olivia watched Amanda walk away and put down her own bags. She looked at Nick, who didn't speak, and sighed. "I'll go talk to her."

She walked towards the cribs and waited outside the door. She didn't knock, allowing Amanda a moment to gather herself. She knew the other woman had heard her approach. It was up to Amanda now to let her in or send her way. She knew Nick and Amanda didn't see eye to eye most of the time and keeping them on the same path throughout all of this wasn't going to be easy but if they wanted to surbive they had to all stick together.

Nick was her partner. She'd always sided with him because that's what partners do. Fin was the same. He always stuck up for Amanda. Olivia knew Amanda didn't have anybody else out there and she took a deep breath before turning the doorknob and stepping into the room.

"Amanda?" she called and let her eyes wander around the room.

Amanda sat on her bed, her hands folded in her lap. She didn't acknowledge Olivia as she walked in.

"You allright?" Olivia asked.

"Fine."

Amanda didn't sound fine.

"Listen, everyone's under stress and…"

"Don't stick up for him, Liv. We all know that nobody can do anything around here without Amaro's permission." Amanda's eyes flickered with anger. "Who the hell does he think he is anyway? Doesn't he realise that we have to be a group for this to work? We can't survive on our own."

"I think he knows that, Amanda."

"He's got a funny way of showing it." Amanda stood up. "We need to go."

"Go?"

"The food run, remember?"

"Amanda…"

"I'm going," she insisted as she pushed past Olivia in the doorway. "Either you're coming with me or I'm going alone."

Olivia watched as Amanda disappeared back into the squad room and an unnerving feeling settled in her chest. This wasn't just about Amanda's anger towards Nick. This was about her anger towards the world, towards the position they had found themselves in. She knew that kind of anger. She knew how dangerous it was. It was the kind of anger that could destroy everything and Olivia realised that it could tear apart everything they were trying to build.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The decision to leave the safety of the squad room wasn't an easy one. When they announced they were ready to leave their announcement was met with hesitation. Olivia could tell from the look in Nick's eyes he wasn't happy with them leaving. She didn't like the idea much herself either. A look out of the window had revealed at least six crawlers around the building and nobody knew how many more were hidden from sight.

"We can't wait much longer," Amanda insisted. "We're not the only survivors. Others are out there and we need supplies if we want to have even a small chance at survivin' this thing!"

Olivia looked at the blonde. She was armed with her own gun as well as an automatic rifle she'd taken from the collection they found in the gun locker. She caught a glimpse of the knife tucked behind her belt.

"Amanda's right. We don't know how many stores have been looted since last night. We need to go now or else it's gonna be too late. The longer we wait, the further we have to travel." Her eyes found Nick's. "The further we have to travel, the more dangerous it becomes."

"Ok." Nick nodded. "Ok."

"We'll take one of the cars," Amanda said as she looked at the collection of keys on one of the desks.

Fin took a step forward. "Take mine. It's got a baseball bat in the trunk." He put a hand on his partner's shoulder. "Might come in handy breaking down windows and doors."

Amanda smiled. "Thanks, Fin."

"You sure you don't want me to go instead?

"This is somethin' I've gotta do. If I don't go out there now..."

She didn't like to admit that fear would take hold if she waited too long. She knew she couldn't allow herself to be afraid. Fear wasn't going to help their survival. Going out there and doing what needed to be done, would. This group, despite of what her feelings were, was her family now and family protected each other.

"You ready?" Olivia said. She stood in the squad room doorway. She'd strapped one of the rifles to her back with a piece of computer wire and had tucked two guns behind her belt.

Amanda swallowed hard. "Let's do this."

"Be careful," Melinda called just as they walked out of the door.

They made their way down the stairs in silence and it wasn't until they reached one of the barricaded doors and began moving the furniture away that Amanda spoke again. "How bad you think it's gonna be?"

"Bad," Olivia answered.

She moved the last chair that blocked the door and unwound the wire that tied down the handle. She slowly removed it before opening the door. She had to shield her eyes against he bright light of day as she stepped outside into the gated parking lot. She then turned around and waited for Amanda to follow her. She then closed the door and began tying the handle back down with the wire.

"We should be able to leave this with just the wires as long as the gate is locked."

Amanda looked over her shoulder at the gate that created their small bubble of safety. "I don't see anything." She looked back at Olivia. "I saw six earlier. Where are they?"

"They're out there." Olivia's voice sounded dangerously low. She looked at Amanda from the corner of her eye. "This is what we'll do: we get in the car and drive up to the gate. One of us gets out to open it; the other drives the car through. We close the gate, lock it and drive. Understood?"

Amanda nodded but didn't take her eyes of the gate. "What if there are crawlers?"

"Stay behind the car, shoot them in the head if you can," Olivia said. Her voice was hollow but determined. "Don't hesitate."

Together they walked across the parking lot and Olivia unlocked Fin's car. Amanda opened the boot and took out the baseball bat her partner had mentioned and took it into the passenger seat with her. Olivia climbed behind the wheel, stuck the key in the lock and bit her lip as the car engine softly roared and came to life.

She looked at Amanda. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

She drove across the parking lot to the gate, praying to herself no crawlers would appear as they tried to leave. She pulled right up against the metal barrier and Amanda opened the passenger door. She got out, stepped up to the lock and I clicked it. She then pushed against the gate, opening it far enough for the car to get through. Olivia moved the car forward and stopped just as she went the through the gate. Her heart pounded in her throat.

Amanda quickly closed the gate and put the lock back in place before climbing back into the car. As she closed the door she shot a quick glance down the street and saw a lone crawler about fifteen feet away. It reared its head when it heard the car engine and Amanda's hand grabbed hold of Olivia's wrist.

"Drive."

They left the safety of the precinct building behind and Olivia turned right at the end of the road. She watched the image of the crawler grow smaller in the distance and sighed in relief. But slowly her attention shifted to the world around her. The buildings were abandoned, windows broken and cars burnt out. There were blood trails that led across the streets. The air smelt of smoke and rotting flesh.

"Where do we go now?" Amanda wanted to know as Olivia turned left at the inter section. The road was abandoned but two cars had turned over just past the traffic lights.

"There are a bodega and a pharmacy two blocks from here. There used to be a clothing store too but I don't know if it's still there," Olivia said. "We can try those, see what we can find. If it's a bust then there are a couple more a few blocks down."

"What about the malls?" Amanda suggested.

"There's Manhattan Mall but I'd like to avoid it if we can," Olivia said. The car turned left again and she slammed the brakes when she saw the scene in front of her. "Shit."

"There must be at least a dozen of them," Amanda whispered as she took in the sight of the herd of crawlers moving aimlessly across the street. Their pace was slow, and most seemed crippled in some way, dragging their limbs. Dried blood clung to their disfigured faces.

"Can you go round them?" she asked as she looked at Olivia.

"No," the brunette answered. "But we can go through them." She grabbed a firm hold of the wheel as Amanda's eyes snapped up to look at her in shock. "Buckle up and grab your gun!"

The car suddenly sped forward and Amanda was slammed back into her seat. The squeaking tyres drew the attention of the crawlers and Olivia's face darkened as she sped toward the herd. When the front of the car made contact with the first of the crawlers, the sickening crack of its body breaking in two echoed through the car.

Amanda moved away from the window as best as she could when a clawed hand slammed against the glass. She heard the low growling and turned her head away when confronted with the hungry mouth opening in an attempt to get to her. The car continued to move, but slower, taking out four more crawlers and causing blood to spray up against the windows. Pieces of skin, brain matter and hair clung to the mirrors and Amanda felt her stomach turn.

There was now enough distance between the car and the remaining crawlers for her to open her window. She didn't think. She just took aim. Her finger tightened around the trigger and the first gunshot rang out. The female crawler fell to the floor as a hole was struck between her eyes. Amanda continued to fire as Olivia moved the car backwards and forwards, preventing the crawlers from getting too close. The last shot died out just as the decaying body fell.

Amanda fell back into her seat, the gun still in her head. A nervous, almost erratic giggle rose up in the back of her throat as she looked at Olivia. Her heart raced in her chest and she felt strangely elated/ Adrenaline pumped through both their veins and she smiled. It was a twisted, almost devious smile. "Let's go get some food."

Ten minutes later Olivia parked the car right outside the bodega she had mentioned to Amanda. The glass was still intact, which looked promising, and Amanda used the baseball bat to smash in the door. Just as she was about to climb through the broken glass, Olivia turned around and noticed an unwelcome visitor.

"He must have been attracted to the sound," Amanda said softly as the crawler's pace somewhat increased. He had caught their scent.

"I can take him," Olivia said when Amanda reached for her gun.

She took aim, let her finger cherish the trigger and waited for the crawler to be in perfect reach. She pulled the trigger without thinking and a grin spread across her face. She didn't stay to watch the once the lifeless body fall and followed Amanda into the store.

"Sweet," Amanda whispered as she took in the undisturbed looking bodega. "Looks like nobody's been here." She looked at Olivia. "All this stuff could last us well over a week."

"Take the canned stuff. Anything that keeps and doesn't perish," Olivia said. She'd walked down the aisle with shampoos and shower gels and picked up several bottles. She turned around when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Amanda stood behind her with a wide grin and a handful of plastic bags.

"You're gonna need these." She winked as she pointed at the shelf. "Don't forget the aspirin."

They took everything they needed, from food and soap to medicine and water. By the time they were finished they had loaded up twenty bags and Amanda suggested taking them to the car. They each took as much as they could carry and loaded the items into the boot and the backseat, making two extra trips in and out of the bodega. When they came out a third time, Amanda looked down the quiet street.

"I wonder where they all went," she said softly. "Last night there were dozens of them. Now it seems so... quiet."

"They must be out there somewhere," Olivia answered. "It seems they're attracted by sound. We fired several rounds earlier on. I would have expected more to have been here. I don't know why they're not here right now."

Amanda circled the car. "You won't hear me complainin'." She waited for Olivia to climb behind the wheel. "You wanna hit the pharmacy?"

Olivia nodded. "While we're here..."

She drove the car another half a block before finding the pharmacy. To their disappointment the window was smashed and Olivia's hand shot down to her gun as they exited the car. She covered her mouth with her finger as they approached the building and Amanda covered her. She felt her heart pounding in her head.

Olivia stepped through the broken window into the pharmacy and her stomach turned at the putrid smell of rotting flesh. She looked down to find the trail of blood on the floor and looked back at Amanda. The blonde was right behind her. The sight of blood put her on edge and Olivia pointed to the back of the building before she continued to move ahead.

It happened so fast. The creature appeared from behind an aisle, a loud growl filling the pharmacy. He swiped at Olivia but missed her arm. She tried to move but he moved too. He managed to knock the gun out of her hand and she staggered backwards by the unexpected force of the impact and landed with her back against the shelves. The dull pain spread through her back and her eyes were wide open, fixed on the monster that launched at her.

He was almost on top of her and she could smell the rotten stench of his breath as she tried to fight him off. Her legs kicked but missed their target. His teeth almost sunk down into her forearm as she pushed against his shoulders and the weight of his body against hers left her unable to move. She cried out. She cried out in a way she had never cried out before. It was a desperate plea for help, a scream to live.

The blood felt warm and sticky against her face as the gunshot rang out. She felt the pieces of brain splatter against her cheeks and her body stiffened as he fell on top of her, blood gushing from the hole in head.

Olivia looked up, unable to speak, to see Amanda standing in front of her with her gun drawn. She saw fear in her eyes and terror etched across her face.

"You ok?" Amanda asked as she grabbed hold of the crawler and threw the lifeless body across the aisle. She reached out for Olivia and the brunette took her hand. Amanda pulled the older woman to her feet. Worried blue eyes searched Olivia's blood soaked body. "Liv, are you ok? Did he get you? Did he bite you?"

She pushed Olivia's hair aside to check her neck for scratches or bites before yanking up her shirt to check her stomach and back. She was panting; terrified she would find her worst fear on the other woman's body. Her hands trailed over exposed skin and Olivia let her. Amanda's hands were warm and the touch brought an unexpected tingle to her stomach. Her own hands were shaking and her face was covered in blood. When she finally turned around and looked at Amanda, she wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck and pulled her close.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice getting lost in Amanda's hair. "Thank you."

"It's over," Amanda breathed and she pulled Olivia closer. Over the brunette's shoulder she looked at the dead crawler. This was their new reality. She turned her eyes away and hid her face in Olivia's hair. "It's over."

"We should get what we need and get home," Olivia stammered when she broke free from the hug. Her eyes had lost their shine and she seemed forlorn. "We need to..."

"I got it," Amanda said softly and began checking the shelves before moving behind the counter where the prescription drugs were kept. She let her fingers trail across the boxes until she reached the section marked with antibiotics and painkillers. She took what she could find, which wasn't as much as she had hoped, before beginning to throw bandages, plasters and other first aid stuff into a bag.

When she turned around she found Olivia whacking other items into another bag. Their gazes met and they shared a quick look before simultaneously heading for broken window.

When they stepped outside Amanda immediately noticed the group of five crawlers approaching. She chucked her bags into the back seat, got in the car and turned to Olivia. "Drive," she said as she checked her gun for bullets. She had enough for this final round. "I'll take them out. Five less crawlers is five less crawlers."

Olivia put the car into gear, hit the gas and the vehicle came to live. She drove towards the crawlers and Amanda leant out of the passenger window before taking her aim. It only took five well aimed shots and the bodies littered the streets. She slid her window back up, pushed her gun back into its holster and looked at Olivia who now managed for relax behind the wheel.

"We'll get the clothes another day. We need to prepare for winter. Think about coats and sleeping bags. We won't have a way to keep warm when the snow comes in and the temperature drops," Olivia said.

Amanda glanced out of the window. "Maybe all the crawlers will freeze to death when winter arrives."

"Don't count on it," Olivia growled. "Something tells me these creatures would survive a biochemical attack. Only smashing their brains in will kill them." She sighed. "Nothing else can kill something already dead.

Amanda heaved a sigh and she leant her head against the glass. "Let's just go home."

The drive through the empty streets of New York was quiet. They encountered four more crawlers but Amanda didn't waste any bullets shooting them as they posed no immediate threat. They saw burnt out cars, abandoned apartments and looted shops and the thought of driving through a land where time had suddenly stood still crept up on Amanda. This wasn't the vibrant city she had once known. This was a town stinking of death. This wasn't home anymore. This was hell.

"Get ready to open the gate," Olivia said when they were several yards away from the precinct building. The road ahead of them was empty but she spotted the crawlers in her rear view mirror. "We've got company."

She pulled up right outside the gate and Amanda leapt out of the car. Her fingers fumbled with the lock before finally opening it. She pushed the gate back and Olivia drove through before stopping and getting out of the car, her hand on her gun.

Amanda heard the growls go louder and her heart pounded in her throat as she slammed the gate shut and put the lock back in place. She then quickly jumped back as the crawlers made their way around the corner and launched at the gate. It formed a safe barrier between her and them.

"Amanda, duck!" Olivia shouted and the blonde let herself fall to the ground as the first round was fired. She rolled away, onto her side, and covered her head with her hands. Blood and pieces of brain rained down on her with every shot that followed.

When she looked up there were four dead crawlers outside the gate, their bodies mangled and twisted. She then looked back at Olivia. "We can't leave them there. They'll attract more crawlers. What are we going to do with them?"

"I'll ask Nick and Fin to burn them," Olivia answered coolly. "You're right. We can't leave them here." Her lips curled up into a smile and she started for the door and untied the wire that kept it closed.

She turned around when Amanda didn't immediately follow. She let her eyes trail over the blonde's frame. Her clothes and her hair were covered in blood and her blue eyes darkened when they met Olivia's gaze. The brunette held the door for her as she smiled.

"Are you going to help me carry the shopping inside or what?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Amanda looked at Olivia from across the almost dark squad room. A few candles provided a soft golden gloom, just enough to light up the faces of those sitting around on the remaining mattresses that they had dragged out of the cribs. Olivia sat with her knees pulled up towards her chest, her back resting against one of the desks. The look in her eyes was distant and she seemed lost in her thought.

The squad room was quiet. Nobody had spoken a word for almost ten minutes. For the past couple of nights this seemed to happen. People were trapped in the same space for days on end but they talked only when it was necessary. The words of hope, sharing the belief that perhaps there was still a way out of this, were long gone. They knew this was reality now.

It had been three days since Amanda and Olivia did the first run to get food, medical supplies and water. They had yet to get clothes to prepare them for winter but the experience at the pharmacy had made everyone reluctant to go outside, even though they knew they did not have a choice. They'd raided the other departments and took pillows and blankets from their sleeping rooms, more tables and chairs to barricade the downstairs windows and bits of wire and other stuff that could come in useful.

Amanda let her eyes wander around the rest of the squad room. Fin sat a little to her right, reading one of the comic books they had found in one of the desks in Vice. Nick sat across from him and Zara was asleep in his lap. His fingers absentmindedly ran through his daughter's hair. Cragen and Melinda sat together at the other end of the room. Both seemed lost in their own minds. As one of the flames on the candles flickered, a shadow fell across Melinda's face.

Amanda pushed herself up and walked through the squad room towards the cribs. It was dark outside and as she walked past one of the windows she shot a glance outside. She saw the creature's move, dragging their rotting legs as they made their way through New York's streets. The glass and the walls kept out the haunting sound of their growls and Amanda turned her head away as she felt a shiver creep down her spine.

She closed the door to the cribs behind her and allowed her eyes to get used to the darkness of the room. There was no light here other than a couple of flashlights they kept at the end of the bed but the rule was to keep them off while there were crawlers outside. It seemed they were attracted to sound and light.

Amanda crossed the room to her bed and fell down on the mattress. It felt more comfortable now that they had extra blankets and pillows and the beds had almost become somewhat of a nest. It was about the only place that felt like a shelter, a safe haven, where they could relax enough to let their guards down.

Amanda rolled down onto her side, facing the bed Olivia normally slept in. She'd gotten used to seeing the other woman lying beside her and often they would just look at each other in the dark without speaking. Sometimes, in those moments, Olivia would take her hand and Amanda would let her. There was something soothing about feeling the other woman's thumb graze over the back of her hand. The reality of this new world seemed to have broken some of the distance between them.

She had always admired Olivia. For her hard work, her dedication and her reputation. But that wasn't the only thing she admired. The feelings had crept up on her without warning and by the time she realised what was happening, it was already too late. She'd managed to box the feelings for Olivia in a part of her mind where she didn't dare go but there were moments, when their eyes found each other in the dark and Olivia took her hand, that Amanda was reminded of exactly what it was she felt.

Perhaps in another lifetime she would have had a chance but this world, the one they lived in now, wasn't the kind of place where love still existed.

This was their reality now; this building with its boarded up windows and barricaded doors, with candles that cast terrifying shadows across the walls and the sound of the pipes as they creaked and groaned in the middle of the night.

They were lucky to still have water, allowing them to shower every two day but only in the morning, when it was light. It was also how they washed their clothes as best as they could, leaving them to dry over a wire that had been strung from one end of the squad room to the other. They would spend the days wandering from room to room and floor to floor, looking for something they could use for their camp on the fifth floor.

They had a large number of weapons and ammunition and they had done well for food and water and medical supplies but everyone knew it wasn't going to last forever. Sooner or later they would have to face the depravity of the world beyond these walls. It was as in those moments they would forget they were human. There was nothing human left in this world. No warmth, no friendliness. Even hope had died.

Amanda bit down on her lip hard when the memory of Olivia caressing her hand flooded back into her mind. It had happened again last night and even after she had fallen asleep, Olivia still didn't let go. Amanda had barely slept, aware of Olivia's hand holding hers as her heart raced uncontrollably in her chest. It had stirred the wildfire deep inside her that she hadn't been able to put out.

Her breath hitched as her hand drifted across her abdomen towards her jeans and she undid her belt buckle before popping the button and lowering the zip. Amanda's eyes fluttered shut when her fingers slid across the cotton fabric of her panties before slipping behind them. She smothered the soft moan that escaped her with her pillow as she found the one thing she had been looking for. Her heart hammered in her chest and she kept her eyes tightly shut in an attempt to let herself believe she wasn't living in this world any longer.

She touched herself rhythmically, in the way she liked to be touched, and increased her movements whilst beads of sweat began to glisten on her forehead.

Amanda's eyes snapped open when she felt a warm hand cover her wrist and she stared up into Olivia's dark brown eyes. Panic overwhelmed her and she tried to move but her body froze. The brunette's face appeared from the shadows surroundings Amanda's bed. Olivia didn't speak but carefully climbed beside Amanda, her fingers still holding the blonde's wrist in place.

"Liv?" Amanda gulped.

Olivia didn't answer but merely covered Amanda's mouth with her finger.

Amanda swallowed hard and fought against the mixture of panic and surprise that welled up inside her. Her eyes widened when Olivia's hand trailed further down from her wrist, slipping carefully behind her jeans and eventually behind her panties. There Olivia's fingers encountered Amanda's and she softly nudged the blonde away before replacing the sudden emptiness with her own fingers.

The back of her throat became dry as Amanda looked up at Olivia above her. She hummed softly when she felt Olivia's fingers continue the motions and slowly let herself fall back onto the bed, arching her back a little to give the older woman more space. She whimpered when Olivia unexpectedly slid two fingers inside of her and grabbed hold of Olivia's arm.

The brunette slowly but steadily thrusted in and out, becoming faster when she noticed Amanda's laboured breathing. She curled her fingers and rubbed her thumb over Amanda's bundle of nerves.

"_Fuck."_

Amanda bit down into her pillow when she hit the first waves of her orgasm and her fingers desperately clung to Olivia's arm as her body trembled. Something inside her felt like it exploded and for a few moments all she could see where flashing stars in the darkness. The blood rushed through her veins and her head was pounding.

When she finally reopened her eyes she found Olivia sitting on the side of the bed. Their gazes locked and for a moment the world around them didn't exist but then Olivia got up and without speaking she walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her. Amanda was left alone with only the echo of her own heartbeat ringing in her ears.

The tears came unexpectedly and Amanda briskly wiped them away as she stood up, zipped up her jeans and readjusted her belt buckle. She took a few deep breaths until she felt like she had her heartbeat under control again and then opened the door. She walked back to the squad room and found Olivia sitting where she had sat before, her knees up to her chest and her eyes fixed on the floor.

"Feeling better?" Nick asked and Amanda's eyes locked on him.

"Better?"

"Liv said you're not feeling well."

Amanda's eyes flashed back towards the older woman but Olivia didn't look up. She then looked back at Nick. "I'm good," she answered. She pushed her hands into her pocket. "Just gonna take a little walk."

"Everythin' allright?" Fin wanted to know.

She peered at her partner through her eyelashes and noticed from the corner of her eye that Olivia suddenly shifted. "Just need some space, that's all."

She didn't wait for anybody else to speak and grabbed one of the guns and a knife from the table, clipped them to her belt and then walked out of the squad room. The building was dark but by now she knew it like the back of her hand and Amanda made her way down the flights of stairs until she reached the lobby. A weak beam of light from the only remaining streetlight fell through a gap in the furniture that barricaded the windows and Amanda approached the glass.

The hole was big enough to see through and she leant on one of the desks as she stared out over the street. A crawler moved about three feet from the streetlamp. It was a woman, or at least it had been once. Only a few strands of dirty red hair remained and her eyes were dead and white. Part of the skin and flesh on her right jaw were missing and she shuffled aimlessly around the streetlamp.

She turned around before Olivia even had a chance to put a hand on her shoulder. Her senses had been heightened since this hell started and she'd heard the approaching footsteps coming down the stairs.

"What was that?" she wanted to know and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Olivia seemed taken aback by the blazing blue eyes. "Up there. What happened?"

"I shouldn't have done what I did," Olivia said apologetically. She clumsily played with her hands. "I came to see if you were allright and…"

"You decided that _that_ was a good thing to do?" Amanda scoffed. "Gees, Liv. How did I ever miss your utter brilliance?"

"Hey, I didn't mean for this to happen. It's just that…" Olivia's eyes drifted around the barricaded lobby. "This world… it is dead. Everything's dead. We're alive but we might as well be dead." Her eyes found Amanda's. "And for a moment I saw something… something that reminded me that we are still human, in some way, and I wanted to hold onto that, experience it again."

Amanda arched an eyebrow. "So what are you sayin'?"

"Look at this world, Amanda!" Olivia pointed at the crawler across the street. "I guess I just…"

The sound of thundering footsteps coming down the stairs alarmed them both and the two women turned around. Fin appeared and he ran into the lobby.

"We've got a problem!"

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see."

They followed him back up the stairs to the fifth floor and found the rest of the group standing by the window in the office. Olivia noticed all candles had been blown out. The squad room was shrouded in darkness. She joined the others and peered through the glass. The view below was that of the building's back entrance, the one without the car park. Her breath hitched.

"My God."

"How many are there?" Amanda said softly as she watched the crowd below.

"At least fifty and more are coming," Nick answered. His voice was hollow. "If they keep that pressure up, they're going to come through that door eventually."

Melinda's face was a mask of worry. "How did they know we're here?"

"I don't know but we can't stay here," Fin decided. "We need to get our stuff together before they break down that door."

"Where will we go?" Zara asked. There was fear in her voice.

"We'll take the cars and we'll try to get out of the city," Olivia said and she briefly met Fin's eyes. "We all take a bag; grab the food and the water and the medical supplies. Make sure you're armed. We get one shot at this and we have to make sure we get it right."

"Liv, we can't stay out in the open for too long. The weather's changing. It's freezing out there and the snow will come soon. If those crawlers don't get us, we'll be dead in no time anyway," Amanda countered.

"We'll find another place," Olivia said and her brown eyes pierced into Amanda's blue. The adrenaline pumped through her veins. "The city's no longer safe. If they get inside, there's no way out."

"Ok, everybody get moving!" Cragen said. "Get the bags, take as much as we can."

Twenty minutes later they had packed almost everything they could, including the blankets and pillows. Several bags full of food and other supplies were carried down the stairs and Nick made sure the car park was secure before letting the group outside. They could hear the growing noises from the crawlers on the other side of the building as they loaded up three of the cars.

"Melinda, you drive with Fin. Nick and Zara with Cragen," Olivia said. "Amanda, you're with me."

"Where are we going?" Fin wanted to know.

"Out of Manhattan. We'll try Queens, see what the situation's like over there," Olivia answered. "Even if it is just to spend the night. Tomorrow, when it's light, we'll head out of the city and find somewhere else to stay."

"I'll get the gate," Amanda said as the rest of the group headed to their cars. Her eyes briefly met Olivia's and she waited for the brunette to have gotten behind the wheel before walking up to the gate. When Olivia pulled up right behind her she opened the gate, walked back to the car and got into the passenger seat.

They drove off into the night and as she looked into the rear view mirror Olivia saw the door to the precinct give way and the first crawlers made their way inside. She heaved a sigh and looked at Amanda.

"You ok?" she wanted to know.

Amanda didn't look at her. "I gotta be," she answered. "We don't have a choice."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

New York had become a ghost town. The streets were abandoned. Shops had been looted and all buildings were empty. Some had been burnt and the blackened walls and broken glass told a silent story of the horrors that had taken place here. Cars had been abandoned along the side of the road. Often the doors were all wide open and dark blood trails betrayed that those who had tried to escape had failed.

"Where are they?" Amanda wondered as she looked down one of the side streets. They'd been driving for almost fifteen minutes but they had yet to see crawlers. She knew deep down they weren't gone but the eerily empty streets tricked her mind into a false sense of security. "It's like they all vanished."

"Something tells me we'll run into them soon enough," Olivia answered. Her voice was hollow and she readjusted her rear view mirror. The other two cars were a few metres behind them. They were driving fast, faster than she would ever have driven here, but speed was what kept them safe. If they were to run into crawlers they would never be able to keep up with the cars.

Amanda didn't answer immediately. Instead she looked at Olivia from the corner of her eye. A dark smudge covered the brunette's right cheek. She didn't know how it got there but she resisted the urge to reach over and wipe it off. They hadn't talked about what happened, not since Fin interrupted them, and she didn't think they would.

"You think Queens is going to be safe?"

Olivia's teeth worried her bottom lip. "I don't know," she admitted. Leaving behind the precinct building was hard. They had felt safe there until today. Today had been a very cruel reminder that it didn't matter where they went. This hell would always find them. "I don't think anywhere is safe anymore."

"Oh my God…"

Olivia's eyes snapped up when she heard Amanda's soft whisper and looked into the direction the blonde was staring in. Her heart sank when she saw what Amanda had seen. A herd of crawlers, at least a hundred of them, had congregated in the street to their right. They all seemed to aimlessly wander around, without a purpose. Even with the windows up they could hear the low growling noise.

One of the crawlers looked up and spotted the car. A shaky, bony hand reached out but he was at least a hundred yards away. Olivia slammed her foot down on the gas and the car sped forward. A quick glance in the rear view mirror told her that the others were following suit and within seconds they had left the crawlers behind.

"Do you think there's a way out of this?" Olivia asked unexpectedly. The silence between them had been lingering for minutes and it was eating at her. "You think there's a cure?"

Amanda shrugged. "I don't know. Warner seems to think this could be a virus. If it is then maybe there is a cure…"

Olivia swallowed. It was hard to imagine there was some kind of cure to change what had happened. The crawlers they saw were no longer human. The persons they had once been had died the moment they returned as these monsters. At a time before this they'd all had lives. They had families and people who loved them. Now they wandered the streets aimlessly, only focused on killing the next person that came onto their path.

Throughout the drive to Queens they came across two more herds of crawlers, both around the same size as the one they'd seen in Manhattan. Olivia knew there had to be more out there, thousands and thousands more, but at the same time it left her wondering how many more people out there were trying to survive. They couldn't be the only ones.

She drove the car down one of the quiet suburb streets of Queens. The houses lined the street on either side. All appeared empty. Most cars were missing from the driveways. Children's toys lay abandoned in the yards. It was a chilling reminder that not even the most innocent had been spared this fate.

"We'll spend the night here," Olivia decided as she parked the car on the drive way of one of the abandoned houses. It was the largest one on the block. She looked around before opening the door. The other two cars came to a stop next to theirs, with Fin parking his car on the grass. He rolled his eyes when Olivia got out of the car and made a hand gesture.

"What?" he said. "Ain't nobody gonna care about the lawns anymore!"

"We need to make sure the house is clear," Amanda said as she reached for her gun. "We don't know what happened to the people who lived here. They may still be inside."

Olivia nodded. "Amanda, you're with me. Nick and Fin, go round the back." Her eyes found Cragen's. "Captain, Melinda, you get back in the car with Zara and don't come out until we say it's safe to do so."

They went on their way and Olivia and Amanda carefully approached the front door with their guns drawn. Amanda tried the door knob and found the door was open. It creaked as they stepped into the dimly lit hallway. It led to a large open plan dining kitchen and living room. Their footsteps echoed across the house and Olivia could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

"Clear," Amanda hissed after checking the kitchen, dining room and adjacent pantry. She had expected to find it trashed but the house looked neat and tidy, as if whoever had lived here was about to come home any moment. It left an unsettled feeling in her stomach.

She turned to Olivia and the brunette stuck up her thumb to indicate the living room was clear too. The sound of the backdoor opening alarmed her but she relaxed when Fin and Nick entered the house. Nick used the key he found under the doormat to lock the backdoor and slipped it in his pocket.

"Upstairs," Fin whispered and the four cops slowly made their way to the stairs.

Olivia went up first, followed by Nick, Amanda and Fin. When they reached the landing they discovered four different bedrooms and a bathroom and they checked every room. They were all clear and they joined each other on the landing. Beads of sweat glistened on Nick's forehead as he looked at Olivia.

"What are we gonna do next?"

"We'll stop here for the night," Olivia answered. "But we can't stay long. A house like this isn't going to keep us safe. The doors can give way too easy."

"We have to find something else on higher ground," Fin suggested.

"How about leaving the city altogether?" Amanda asked and Olivia looked in her direction. She could tell Amanda was serious. "We don't know how far this this thing has spread. We may be able to find help, someone who knows what the hell happened. There may be a place that hasn't been touched by this shit yet."

"Amanda has a point," Nick agreed. "We know we can't stay here. Those crawlers we saw will make their way over here eventually and there are probably dozens more in the area already. If there is some way we can escape then I say we take it."

Olivia nodded. "Ok. We'll leave at first light." She put her gun back in its holster and heaved a sigh. "Only take the necessary stuff inside for tonight." She looked at Nick. "Go get the others. We'll secure the doors and windows, just in case."

He disappeared and Olivia, Amanda and Fin began pushing furniture against the backdoor and the windows. By the time Cragen, Melinda and Zara followed by Nick made their way into the living room, they had barricaded all possible entrances other than the front door. Fin used a couple of TV cables to tie down the front door and then he joined the others in the living room.

"There are comfortable beds upstairs," Olivia said. The role of leader somehow came natural to her and people turned to her for answers and advice. "I suggest everyone gets some sleep. I'll take first watch."

"I'll stay too," Amanda piped up and Olivia shot her a questioning look but didn't argue.

"Wake me in a couple of hours and I'll take over," Fin said and put his hand on Amanda's shoulder before leading the rest of the group up to the first floor.

"You don't have to stay," Olivia said as she sank down in one of the two arm chairs she'd pushed halfway across the living room moments earlier. She didn't look at Amanda. "You should get some sleep. We don't know when our next chance to sleep is going to be."

"I'm good," Amanda answered as she sat down on the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest. She didn't look at Olivia directly. "Liv, about what happened…"

"I'm sorry," Olivia cut the blonde off. She stared at a spot on the wall and fumbled with her fingers. "I shouldn't have done what I did."

"I didn't mind."

"What?" Olivia's eyes fixed on the Georgian detective sitting on the floor.

"I said I didn't mind," Amanda repeated and her blue eyes found Olivia's brown. "I don't mind what happened, Liv. I know I came on a little harsh earlier but I wasn't sure about what I felt. Now I do." She swallowed. "I understand what you said about needing to feel human, about needing to feel there is something amongst all of this that can remind us that we are still people."

She got up and moved across the room before sitting down again in front of Olivia. She leant against the brunette's legs with her back and released her breath when she felt Olivia's fingers thread her hair.

"I know," Olivia whispered. "I was worried I had crossed a line, Amanda. I had no right to just assume you wanted me to do those things." The stroking of the blonde hair briefly stopped. "But you're right. We need to remind ourselves that we are still human and that human beings…" She didn't finish the rest of her sentence.

"That we need to feel," Amanda continued. She turned her head and their gazes locked. She shifted until she could put a hand on Olivia's knee. "And I don't mind, Olivia. I _want_ to feel."

She didn't know if she and Olivia wanted to feel the same thing or if there was even some kind of chance to build on this feeling in this new way of living but if that was all they had then she was ready to accept it for what it was; a convenient glimmer of hope, a light in the darkness.

She slowly stood up and closed the distance between herself and Olivia sitting in the arm chair. Slowly she placed her legs on either side of the older woman and lowered herself onto her lap. Her breath hitched when she felt Olivia's hands close around her back and fumble with her shirt. Amanda's eyes fluttered shut and leant in, resting her head against Olivia's shoulder. The brunette's hair tickled her face and she relaxed against Olivia's frame.

"We'll find a way," Olivia whispered and her fingers drew circles on the small of Amanda's back. The feeling of the younger woman so close to her erased some of the tension and the fear she had been feeling. She didn't realise how lonely and how scared she had been until this moment. "I don't know how or where but there is hope out there. If we don't have hope then we will have lost everything."

Amanda snaked her arms around Olivia's neck. She was tired. Her body ached and the frustrations from the last few days slowly seemed to drain from her now that Olivia held her. "I haven't given up hope," she breathed. "I won't."

Olivia breathlessly placed a kiss somewhere on Amanda's shoulder. They weren't exactly sitting in the most comfortable position but she couldn't imagine anything else right now. She hummed softly when Amanda's fingers massaged the tender muscles in her neck and just as she was about to shift so she could lean in to kiss her, a scraping noise outside alarmed both of them.

Amanda slipped off Olivia's lap and pulled out her gun. Her eyes widened as the sound repeated itself and she shuddered when she recognised the growling sound of a crawler. She looked over her shoulder at Olivia and covered her lips with her finger. The brunette quietly pulled out her own gun and followed Amanda to the back door.

Through a small opening in the barricade Amanda peered outside and quickly took a step back. The female crawler was maybe two steps from the door. Her eyes were hollow and empty and part of her face seemed to have been ripped off. Her clothes were ragged and torn.

"How many?" Olivia whispered.

"One," Amanda replied. "But if we shoot her now we risk attracting others."

"Everything's secure," Olivia said. "We should be safe in here."

"What about the cars at the front?"

"Crawlers don't drive, Amanda."

Amanda grinned. "Gees, really? You think she's going to go away?"

"We can only hope." Olivia's heart thumped in her throat and she sank back down in the arm chair with her gun pointed at the door. Amanda sat down on the floor beside her. "We can only hope."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It was a restless night. Olivia didn't know if she actually slept but when she opened her eyes, her body didn't feel any more rested than it did before she lay down on the bed. Finding Amanda asleep beside her, her slender frame clad stained clothes a sharp contrast against the plain crème coloured sheets, didn't change anything about the way she felt.

She lay on her side and watched the blonde sleep. Sunlight fell through the open curtains onto the bedroom floor and for a precious moment Olivia allowed herself a fantasy of make belief. In that one moment the horrors of the world beyond these walls didn't exist. No crawlers, no burning buildings and no blood trails through the street. They were in a house, in a bed, and if she closed her eyes she could let herself enjoy the illusion that this was their life. The kind of life she had secretly always longed for but had never allowed herself to have.

And now it was too late.

The shuffling of footsteps downstairs told her that the others were up and people were moving. Olivia's eyes snapped back open and she put a hand on Amanda's arm. The blonde sat up with a jolt, panic flashing behind her eyes and her hand shot down to the gun clipped to her waist. She then looked at Olivia and realised they were safe and she released her breath.

"Sorry."

"Don't be," Olivia answered softly and covered Amanda's still shaking hand with her own. "Everyone's afraid."

They both got up and made their way down the stairs. In the kitchen they found Melinda and Zara sitting at the breakfast table and to their surprise there was plenty of food on the table. Melinda looked up when the two women walked in.

"I found a pantry," she smiled. "Some of it is out of date but it still tastes allright." Her eyes found Olivia's. "We'll take what we don't use this morning so we've got some extra stock for the next few days."

Amanda picked up a couple of pieces of fruit and the cereal box. She found a bowl in the kitchen cupboard and poured some of the flakes into it. There wasn't any milk but she didn't care. She could eat it dry. The cartons of juice that Melinda had brought in tasted allright, since they were the type that didn't need to be kept in a fridge, and it was a nice experience to just taste something as simple as orange juice.

"What happened to that female crawler?" Olivia asked when Fin and Nick walked in. Cragen followed them. It looked like they had been adding things to the stock they kept in the car. Fin had taken over the watch from her and Amanda last night and after some arguing she had finally accepted that she needed to go to bed.

"Fell in the neighbour's pool," Fin smirked.

"You're kidding, right?"

Fin shook his head and Olivia walked to the back door. She could just about see far enough into the neighbour's garden to see the female walker splashing furiously in the water. She didn't possess the ability to pull herself up and with a smile on her face Olivia turned away from the window and walked back into the kitchen.

"So what do we do next?" Nick wanted to know.

"We need clothes," Amanda said. "Winter is comin' and we're goin' to have to stay warm."

"There's the Queens Center Mall," Olivia answered slowly. Her eyes found Amanda's. Until this point she had been keen to stay away from malls. They were big, with plenty of places for crawlers to hide and sneak up on them without warning. But right now they were also the best location for them to find what they needed to survive winter.

"How are we going to go about that?" Melinda asked. "We've got Zara. We can't bring her inside with us in case the place is full of crawlers."

Olivia paced the kitchen. She'd pushed her hands in her pocket and tried to line the suggestions up in her head. Leaving the house as a group would make them vulnerable to an attack from crawlers. Although not perfect, the house was safer than a car. It seemed that the neighbourhood was quiet a least for now and that was one thing that could work in their favour.

She looked up and let her eyes drift across everyone's faces. The lack of sleep had left it's markings behind. "How does everyone feel about spending a possible second night here?"

Fin leaned against the doorframe. "What are you suggesting?"

"A small group takes two cars to the mall and takes whatever we need. The rest stay here, keep Zara safe and out of harm's way. Everything's locked and barricaded," Olivia stated. "It would be the best and safest way. We can do one run and have everything we need by the end of the day. Then tomorrow, we leave."

There was a moment of silence as the other members of the group considered her suggestion. The role as leader had come to her naturally. Somehow everyone had turned to her with questions and fears and keeping them together, keeping them safe, was the main thing on her mind right now. If the crawlers didn't get them within the next week, winter would. Once the snow was on the ground the temperature would drop and they would all freeze to death.

"It sounds good to me." Amanda was the first one to speak. Blue eyes connected with brown. She wasn't about to let Olivia venture out into the dangers outside on her own. "I'll go."

"I'm in," Fin added. "Liv's right. We need to make sure we're ready for winter. If we do decide to leave town and head further out, we don't know when our next chance of finding clothes and shelter is going to be."

Cragen looked up. "I'll go with Fin." Nick was about to protest but Cragen shook his head and placed his hand on the younger cop's shoulder. "You stay with Zara, Nick. She needs her father."

Olivia took a deep breath. Her heart hammered against her ribcage. The thought of going back out there filled her with dread but they didn't have a choice.

"Ok," she said and tried to keep her voice firm. "Gear up. Grab a couple of guns and some ammunition, a knife and the baseball bat." Her eyes met those of the people that would be coming with her on this run. "And remember, crawlers only die if you shoot, stab or smash them in the head."

~()~

She had only ever been to the Queens Center once. It had been close to Christmas and she'd neglected buying presents until the very last moment. Being part of a massive crowd of frenzied shoppers wasn't exactly Olivia's idea of fun but now that she approached the shopping centre and saw the eerily quiet car park with several dozen abandoned cars, she felt her stomach drop.

"There's so many cars," Amanda whispered and she nervously picked at her fingernails. "There's no way this place is empty."

"I know." Olivia swallowed the lump in the back of her throat as she pulled the car up right in front of the building. The closer they were to the door, the better.

Fin and Cragen pulled up behind her and waited until she got out of the car. She didn't lock the doors and the group turned towards the mall. It was big and massive and Olivia felt sick at the thought of what they would find inside. Her eyes flashed from the building to her friends and back.

"You know what to do," she said and they nodded. "You got your weapons?" Another silent nod. She glanced at her watch. "We meet back here in one hour. If Amanda and I aren't here, you go home anyway, understood? You do _not _go back inside looking for us! There are people relying on us as a group and if we don't make it, they need you to make sure they're safe."

Nobody answered and she knew why. She prayed to God it wouldn't come to that.

She drew her gun and sensed Amanda instinctively moving closer to her. Fin and Cragen were right behind them and as a group they approached a set of glass double doors. She pushed against them and they gave way effortlessly. They found themselves standing in the deadly quiet shopping mall and Olivia felt a shiver creep down her spine.

"You take left, we'll go right," Fin said and he and Cragen broke away from Amanda and Olivia.

Olivia watched them walk away before beginning to move into the other direction. There were shops everywhere, on different levels, and most of them sold clothes. She shot a sideways glance at Amanda. She walked with her gun drawn and the tension was etched across her face. The sound of their footsteps echoed through the shopping centre and the further they walked, the more they realised what had happened here.

Bags of clothes, purses and other items lay sprawled across the floor. Empty drink cups had been spilled and the liquid was sticky underneath their feet. There was blood spray on the walls and large pools of blood on the floor. For a moment Olivia imagined the terrified screams of the people caught up in the devastation that had taken place here.

"Let's try this one," Amanda whispered and pointed at a clothing store just ahead. The mannequins in the window looked as perfect as they always did and Olivia understood why Amanda had chosen this store. The mannequins all wore coats, hats and scarfs.

"The door's open," Olivia pointed out when they approached. Not only was it open, but the glass had been shattered. The pieces snapped underneath her boot as she stepped into the shop.

Her breath hitched. The lights were out and although not completely dark, the shop was still shrouded in shadows. The loud thumping of her heart gave her an instant headache and she only relaxed when she felt Amanda move closer. Instinctively their bodies found the best position, back to back, allowing them to see in every direction. Amanda's hand shook a little as she raised her gun. Her finger was hooked around the trigger and she gasped when in the distance, a shot rang out.

They knew it had to be Fin and Cragen. It also confirmed that they were not alone in this place.

"Let's go," Olivia said softly and they moved through the shop with their backs towards each other until they were sure they were alone.

Reassured there were no crawlers hiding behind coats and pants, the two women lowered their guns and Amanda disappeared behind the counter to find plastic bags marked with the shop's name. She gave a handful to Olivia and they strategically started making their way down the racks of clothing and selected the items they needed.

Olivia found several coats that seemed to be the correct sizes and stuffed them into the bags. Behind her Amanda was folding pairs of jeans and sweaters. It didn't take them long to fill the bags they had and at Amanda's suggestion they made their way back to the car.

Just as Olivia put the bags onto the back seat, movement behind a car a few yards away got her attention. Her heart skipped a beat as she took in the sight of what as unfolding.

"Amanda…"

The blonde looked up and saw what Olivia was looking at. Panic overwhelmed her. A large herd of crawlers was approaching the shopping centre. The nearest ones were only thirty yards or so away.

"Shit!"

Olivia felt the sweat trickle down her forehead as her eyes scanned their surroundings. Most of the gates surrounding the car park were closed. Only one set had been open when they arrived and right now it was impossible to get through. "They're blocking the exit. Even if we get into the car, we won't get out. There's too many of them."

"Back inside!" Amanda decided and grabbed Olivia's arm. The brunette stood nailed to the floor and Amanda pulled even harder at Olivia's arm. She raised her gun and fired a shot. It hit the nearest crawler between the eyes and he fell to the floor. "Liv, get back inside!"

Olivia's legs sprang into action and she ran after Amanda, back into the shopping centre. Just as they burst through the door, they saw Cragen and Fin appear from the other side. Both carried several bags full of clothing and Amanda recognised two of them as belonging to a children's store. The two men froze when they saw the women run back inside.

"Get back!" Olivia shouted and reached into her pocket for the car keys. She threw them in his direction and Fin caught them. "There's too many of them! Hide and wait till they've gone! Once it's safe, get back to the house. Take both cars!"

"What?!" Fin shouted and reached for his gun. "No way, Olivia! We're helping you!"

"NO!" Olivia shouted. "Get back to the house. We'll find our way home!"

"Olivia's right," Cragen insisted and he grabbed Fin's arm. "We have to get back." He looked back at the other two women. "We'll come back for you!"

She sadly smiled, knowing that he meant every word. "I know."

She and Amanda ran towards the food court where Olivia had seen the escalators. One thing she'd learnt from watching the crawlers was that they couldn't climb and weren't good with stairs. The escalators were switched off and awkward to climb but it was their best chance of getting out alive.

"What about a fire exit?" Amanda breathed when they reached the escalator and she looked over her shoulder. On the other side of the mall the first crawlers came pouring in. "Can we get out?"

Olivia pointed at the nearest exit. The metal chains had a padlock on them. She shook her head. "I saw something similar back at the other side. I think someone else tried to keep these monsters out too but it turned this place into a prison instead."

"What do we do?"

"Find somewhere on higher ground. Once the herd has dispersed, maybe we can fight out way out of here."

Amanda noticed Olivia didn't sound very hopeful and she couldn't blame her. She reached for Olivia's hand and squeezed it. Behind them the herd was slowly closing in and Olivia began moving further up the escalators. Never letting go of Olivia's hand, Amanda followed.

"Liv?" Amanda asked softly when they reached the top and the brunette turned around.

"Yeah?"

"If we die in here…" Amanda's voice broke and tears glistened behind her eyes. "I don't wanna lose you." Blue eyes found brown. "If we die in here, we die together."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Minutes felt like hours.

Olivia looked over the railing. The crawlers were still occupying the lower level floor, their roars and moans growing louder now that several of them laid eyes on the brunette peering down at them. A few had tried to climb the escalator but failed. Their twitching bodies lay in an messy pile, one on top of the other, their dead brains unable to comprehend that they needed to get up to move on. Claw like hands reached up in a desperate bid to reach the human flesh they so desperately craved.

"All clear," Amanda reported and Olivia turned around.

The blonde had offered to check the shops on this level for crawlers while Olivia kept watch over the ones downstairs. Olivia's heart pounded in her throat and a quick glance at her watch told her it had been twenty minutes since they last saw Fin and Cragen. Twenty minutes that had felt like a freaking lifetime.

"They're not moving on because they know we're up here," Olivia said and wiped the beads of sweat of her forehead. "There's no way we can fight our way through a herd that big."

"What do we do?" Amanda asked.

"We stay here for now," Olivia sighed. She was tired. Fear was an all-consuming thing. It drained the body of energy and left it weary and unfocused. She knew she would somehow have to find her concentration back but right now her mind was as empty as that of those monsters below. "What are the shops up here like?"

"Mainly clothes," Amanda replied. She could see the tiredness etched across Olivia's face. Her own body hurt from the running and the constant strain on her muscles from walking with her gun drawn. "But there's a coffee shop a few doors down. Looks like it's got food and water inside."

"We'll go there." Olivia's voice was flat and she put a hand on Amanda's shoulder. "Maybe in a few hours things will be different."

Amanda nodded and the two women walked across the abandoned mall floor, the sound of the crawlers moaning below them following them like a haunting echo. Amanda resisted looking down over the railing and shooting them in the head. She would need those bullets later, if and when they decided the time was right to leave. With every step that thought grew more intense in her head and when she looked beside her at Olivia, she could tell defeat had not yet taken the brunette's soul either.

"You think they made it out alive?" she asked softly.

"I don't know," Olivia admitted. "The crawlers followed us." She heaved a sigh. "Maybe they got lucky."

"If they did then they can tell the others what happened to us." Hope echoed in Amanda's voice. "They can tell them where we and maybe…" Blue eyes found brown and she took Olivia's hand. "Maybe they'll come back for us."

"Only if they survived," Olivia answered and she pushed against the door of the coffee shop. It gave way without effort. The floor was littered with empty cups and dried coffee. The place reeked stale. A half-eaten pastry covered in mould lay on one of the tables. "If they didn't survive, nobody will come for us."

Without thinking Amanda grabbed the forlorn rug sack that had been left behind on a table in the corner. She opened it and poured its content out onto the floor. Inside she found an unopened bottle of water, three packets of sweets and a chocolate bar. She left the remainder of the items before turning to the shelves behind the counter. She jumped over it and grabbed several packets of potato chips, cereal bars and bottles of water before turning around to look at Olivia.

The brunette had moved two tables in front of the door and now added several chairs on top. When she felt Amanda's eyes on her she turned around and their gazes met across the length of the room. For a moment they allowed each other to see the other person's sadness and lack of hope. They were trapped here, in this doomed hellhole, surrounded by crawlers. Neither of them knew if they would still be alive by morning.

"Here," Amanda said when Olivia reached her and handed her a bag of potato chips. "You need to eat."

"Not exactly my idea of lunch," Olivia replied with a smile and sank down in one of the leather couches in the corner of the coffee bar. She noticed the old newspaper lying at her feet and picked it up. It was dated the day this mess had started and she heaved a sad sigh as she remembered the day had started like any other. Nobody could have known that within a few hours, most of them would be dead.

Amanda sat down next to Olivia and folded her hands in her lap. "Liv?"

"Yeah?"

She cast the brunette a sideways glance. "If today is our last day…"

Suddenly there were tears in Olivia's eyes. It was an unguarded moment where her fears took over. She dropped the bag she had just opened and without speaking she moved closer to Amanda until their lips met. The kiss tasted of salt and tears but Amanda's eyes fluttered shut anyway and for a blissful moment, a frozen few seconds in time, the hell they lived in didn't exist anymore.

"It won't be our last day," Olivia promised when they broke apart and she rested her forehead against Amanda's. "I promise I'll get you out of here." She tried to smile. "We'll get out of here."

Amanda let a strand of Olivia's chestnut hair run through her fingers. "How can we ever live in this world, Liv? What is there left to live for?"

"We have each other," Olivia whispered and took Amanda's hands into her own. "For me, that's all I need to have." A soft, tender kiss ended up just below Amanda's ear. In another time it would have almost been meaningless but now it said more than words ever could. "I didn't think I could find hope in this darkness, Amanda. But I did. I see it every time I look at you. _You_ are my hope."

A silent tear trickled down Amanda's cheek.

"We should try and get some sleep," Olivia whispered into Amanda's ear and moved until she was in a position where they could both lie down on the couch. She knew sleep would probably be hard to come by but they had to recharge their energy somehow. "Maybe once it's gone dark we can find ourselves a way out of here."

Without protesting Amanda lay down beside Olivia and rested her head against the brunette's chest. She listened to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat as Olivia's fingers threaded her hair. Neither of them spoke. In the distance they could hear the frustrated moans of the crawlers stuck on the floor below them but right in that moment, there was only them, wrapped up in each other's arms, cherishing a moment where for just a few hours, they didn't have to fight for their lives.

~()~

When Olivia opened her eyes it was dark. Something had woken her from her sleep but she didn't know what. It could have been a sound or just her subconscious telling her that it was time for her to wake up. She slowly became aware of the weight of Amanda's body on top of her own and shifted a little bit. The unexpected stirring woke the blonde and she sat up with a jolt, eyes wide open and fully alert.

"Hey, it's ok," Olivia whispered and covered Amanda's hand with her own. Instantly the younger woman relaxed. "You allright?"

"Yeah," Amanda said and reached for one of the water bottles. She unscrewed the lid and drank half the bottle in one go before offering the other half to Olivia. "Did you sleep?"

Olivia nodded. "I didn't think I would."

"Me neither," Amanda admitted. "What time is it?"

Olivia checked her watch and a nervous feeling settled in her stomach. Their friends hadn't come back to look for them. "Half past six at night. It's gone dark."

"You think we should try to get out?"

"We need to know what those crawlers did," Olivia replied and looked around at the cereal bars and potato chips they'd found. There were also several water bottles. "Let's see if we can find a bag to put this stuff in. I don't want to go out on the road without any supplies."

Ten minutes later they had packed their stuff together and moved the tables away from the door. The first thing Amanda noticed when she opened the door was the silence. The moaning had stopped. Carefully she stepped out of the coffee shop, aware that Olivia was right behind her. Neither of them moved close to the railing but Olivia recognised the soft shuffling sound of feet.

"They're down there," she whispered. "They have just gone silent."

Amanda hesitantly moved nearer to the railing and peered over the edge. Through the darkness it was hard to tell how many crawlers were left on the level below but she could make out at least a dozen shadows. She shook her head and looked at Olivia.

"If we fire one shot in this place we'll lure the others out. We have to find another way out."

Olivia looked around and bit her lip. "How about the roof?"

Amanda turned around and saw that the brunette pointed at a door between two shops. It was set back and almost impossible to identify if it hadn't been for the partially illuminated sign that flickered above it, highlighting the word "exit." Their gazes locked and she shrugged. The roof was as a good a chance as anything else.

They moved towards the door and Olivia went to open it. It didn't give way immediately and she threw her weight against it, groaning when her shoulder made contact with the unforgiving metal. She moved away, ready for a second attempt, when Amanda put a hand on her shoulder and smiled. A single well aimed kick was all it took for the door to burst open and the two women inhaled the fresh, wintery New York air.

"Wait," Amanda said when she felt the cold wind against her skin. "We're goin' to freeze to death."

Before Olivia could call her back she disappeared, leaving the brunette anxiously waiting in the open doorway. Seconds ticked by, slowly changing into minutes, and Olivia grew increasingly more aware of her heart hammering in her chest. Her fingers grazed the gun strapped to her waist and just as she was about to move away from the door, Amanda appeared from the shadows.

She threw a coat at Olivia and grinned when she saw the brunette frown. "What, don't like it?"

"It's fine," Olivia smiled as she put the coat on. "Where did you get these?"

"Shop a few doors down. They're not the nicest but at least they're warm," Amanda answered and proceeded to zip up the coat. She then joined Olivia and together they stepped out onto the roof.

Olivia closed the door behind them and allowed herself a few deep breaths of fresh air before looking around. The roof was large and covered almost the entire mall, other than the glass dome in the middle. She let her eyes drift across their surroundings before slowly moving towards the edge. It overlooked the car park and to her relief she saw there were no crawlers.

"If we can get to one of those cars, I may be able to get it goin'," Amanda said and Olivia shot her a questioning look. "Don't ask. Too many undercover operations."

Olivia looked down. "It's a massive drop. We'll never get off without breaking both our legs."

"Is there a ladder or a staircase somewhere?" Amanda pointed back at the door they came through. "This is an exit. There has to be some way to get people of this roof in case of an emergency."

"There!" Olivia pointed at what looked like a metal staircase. It ran parallel to the wall. "We can get down there."

The two women moved towards the staircase and began making their way down, Olivia first. Every so often she looked over her shoulder to make sure they were still alone. Her heart beat so fast she felt it would explode from her chest and her breathing was laboured. When she reached the final step she released her breath as her feet touched solid ground and she looked up to see Amanda a few steps above her.

Amanda jumped down the last two steps and landed next to Olivia. Her eyes scanned the parking lot. "We'll take the truck," she said as she identified a Chevy parked not too far away. "They're easy to get goin'."

They ran across the car park and Olivia yanked at the passenger door handle. It wasn't locked and she climbed inside the truck. Amanda circled the vehicle and got behind the wheel. She dropped the bags in the backseat and looked underneath the wheel to find a way to get the truck going.

Olivia looked back up and saw the shadows emerge from the mall. There were about six or seven and they slowly moved towards the car park. She unclipped her gun and drew it before opening the door. The sound made Amanda look up and fear filled her eyes when she realised what Olivia was doing.

"Liv, get back in the car!" she hissed as she pulled the wires free. "LIV!"

"I can take them," Olivia insisted.

The group of crawlers came closer and she took her aim. The first gunshot rang out and a male crawler fell to the floor. It caused another crawler to trip but from the corner of her eye Olivia noticed more movement. Several more crawlers emerged from behind parked vehicles and adrenaline suddenly rushed through her veins. The moans became louder as the crawlers approached.

"Liv, get back in the car!" Amanda shouted. Her hands trembled as she tried to connect the wires whilst looking at Olivia. Her voice was laced with panic as shot after shot rang out. "Olivia Benson, get back in the damn car!"

Olivia looked at the approaching crawlers. The group had grown to about fifteen, not counting the seven she had just shot in the head. They were still coming. They could smell her flesh, her blood. They had seen her and she knew they wouldn't leave until she was dead. Her finger was hooked securely over the trigger and she fired again. The female crawler nearest to her fell down, a hand stretched out. Blood poured from her skull.

Suddenly he was there, next to her. She didn't see him coming. He must have been behind the car. She could smell his breath and heard his growl. His sharp nails clawed across her coat and she felt the fabric tear. She turned and faced him, her brown eyes meeting his dead ones. Part of his face was missing and his hair had been scorched away. Blood dripped from his mouth and his weight was heavy against her body as he pressed her against the side of the truck. Suddenly there was no air in her lungs.

She couldn't move her arm. He had pinned it against the car. The only thing that separated his teeth from her skin was her other hand, pressed against his throat, keeping him an arm's length away. Over his shoulder she could see the others come closer. The air was full with the stench of burnt and rotten flesh. The world no longer new hope for it had gone to hell.

There was pain. Her muscles burnt as she fought against him. For a dead body he had a lot of strength. He was heavy. She never took his eyes off his face. Once he had been human. A man, a father perhaps. Now he was nothing but a monster.

The sound of an object piercing through bone cut through her ears and she felt warm blood splatter against her face. Almost instantly the pressure was gone and he fell to the ground. She panted, her heart pounding in the back of her throat, and looked over her shoulder. Amanda sat in the passenger seat, a bloodied knife in her hand. Blood spatter desecrated her face.

"Get in the car," Amanda said huskily and grabbed Olivia's shoulder, forcing her inside.

Olivia leant back in her seat. "I thought I could take them."

"There are too many," Amanda replied and looked back at the wires. She brought them together one last time and the car came to life. The sound of the engine roaring was music to their ears and she put the vehicle in reverse before hitting full gas. The thud and bang she heard next told her she had hit a crawler as she reversed. "We can't kill them all."

She then noticed the gash on Olivia's coat. "Did he get you?!"

The brunette shrugged herself out of the coat and inspected it before checking her arm. Her skin was dry but unmarked. She shook her head. "No." She grinned as she looked at Amanda. "The coat saved my life."

Amanda smiled too and put the truck into gear. Just as a crawler attempted to pull open the passenger door she moved forward and the crawler fell. She headed into the direction of the gate, noticing that the crawlers were following them in her rear view mirror. She heaved a sigh as she sat back into her seat and clutched the wheel loosely.

She shot Olivia a sideways glance and found the older woman looking at her. "Let's go home."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

They drove through the dark night. Most of the streetlights had stopped working. Energy and power had been cut off a few days ago. There was nobody left to watch the power stations and cables had been cut and fires had started. Now the night belonged to the crawlers as they hid effortlessly in the shadows, waiting to find their next victim to still their endless hunger and add to their ever growing numbers.

Amanda glanced beside her. Olivia looked relaxed but she could tell the brunette's eyes were peeled on the road ahead. They'd been driving for twenty minutes and since leaving the mall they had encountered one crawler. It had been incapacitated, lying at the side of the road with both its legs missing, a hungry claw stretched out in a big to get them to them as the car drove by. Amanda had watched the pathetic scene grow smaller in her rear view mirror until the shadows swallowed him up.

The loud spluttering of the car engine made Olivia's head snap up and their gazes locked. "What was that?"

Amanda searched the dashboard in front of her for any lights that indicated something was wrong. All signs appeared to be normal but she noticed the car was losing speed. They were slowing down and they were slowing down fast.

"I don't know," she said. "Something's wrong with the car. We're stopping."

She'd barely finished her sentence or the car stalled. It came to a full stop with a soft bump that knocked them both back into their seat and Olivia suddenly could smell oil and smoke. She looked over her shoulder and out of the window before opening the door and slipped out of her seat. As she walked up to the hood of the car she saw the plume of smoke circle up into the air.

Amanda looked at her from behind the wheel but Olivia shook her head.

"The car's dead."

"What do you mean, dead?"

Amanda got out of the car too and joined Olivia. Together they popped the hood and released a cloud of stinking smoke that made them both heave and cough. Through the thick smoke and without a flashlight to be able to see what was wrong, Amanda tried to look at the engine and other parts. She let out a frustrated groan when she came to the realisation there was nothing they could do.

"We need to get off the streets," Olivia said, her dark eyes scanning their surroundings. They had not long gone past a block of houses, about half a mile back. It had looked abandoned but she knew better than trust anything upon first sight these days. Her hand shot down to her gun and she looked at Amanda. "We'll walk the remainder of the journey tomorrow. It's too dark. We can't see a thing. We're basically crawler bait."

Amanda nodded, walked back to the car and took out the bags they'd gathered at the mall. She gave a few to Olivia, unclipped her gun from its holster and took a deep breath. Her heart pounded in her throat and they picked up a fast pace as they walked their way back towards the houses they had seen earlier.

They didn't speak. Any unnecessary sound could attract crawlers and Amanda didn't fancy her chances out here in the dark.

It didn't take them long to find the houses and Olivia looked down the quiet street before pointing out one of the smaller houses. She and Amanda silently approached and climbed up the wooden porch. Olivia was the first to reach the door and she turned the doorknob. It creaked but the door opened without problem. As she stepped over the threshold into the small living room she waited with baited breath, listening for any sound that would betray the presence of a crawler.

Only silence greeted them.

"Let's check every room," Olivia whispered as she dropped the bags on the couch.

Amanda nodded and she followed the brunette to the kitchen, gun drawn. It was clear. So was the dining room and the two bedrooms upstairs. When they made their way back down Olivia pushed the couch towards the front door and barricaded it. Amanda did the same with the dining table and chairs in the dining area where a patio door led to a small garden. When she came back in she found Olivia in the kitchen.

"This place has not long been abandoned," Olivia pointed out. There were tins of food in the cupboard. She picked up a tin cheap turkey sausages and turned towards the stove. To her delight she noticed it was operated by gas and she turned one of the knobs. The cooker sprang to life and she rummaged around another cupboard to find a frying pan.

"Hungry?" she asked Amanda.

The blonde leaned against the doorway, a smile across her face. Something as simple as frying up some sausages made her happy. A ridiculous scene in a life that nobody would wish to live.

"Yeah," she answered. "Want me to see what else we've got here?"

Olivia merely smiled as Amanda began opening kitchen cupboards. Eventually the blonde found a tin of beans that she poured into another pan and put onto the cooker, and a tin of fruit. She opened it, poured the mixed pieces into two bowls and rummaged through the drawers to find knives and forks as well as plates. When she'd laid the items out on the small breakfast bar she went back to leaning against the doorframe, watching Olivia.

"What?" the brunette asked when she felt Amanda's eyes on her.

"Nothin'," Amanda replied. "I guess I was just thinkin'."

"About?" Olivia briefly took her eyes off the sausages she was cooking.

"About whether this would have happened, somehow, if the world hadn't gone to tell," Amanda admitted. "You and me, I mean…"

Olivia didn't look at Amanda and stared back at the food in the pan in front of her. "I think it would have," she admitted quietly. "I'd been thinking for a little while that perhaps me and Brian weren't as compatible as I thought." Saying it out loud was painful, even more so because she never really got the chance to tell him before all this happened. Sometimes he crossed her mind and she'd wonder if he got out somehow. "But I think you and I would have found each other eventually."

Amanda furrowed her brow. "You really believe that?"

"Eventually, yes," Olivia replied. "It probably would have taken us a little longer but there were moments…" Her voice faltered for a second. "Moments where I looked at you and wondered 'what if'? What if I asked you to go for a drink, just the two of us, nobody else?" She turned off the gas and put the sausages on the plates. She then slowly looked at Amanda. "What if I'd not been such a coward to question myself about what it was I felt every time I looked at you?"

Amanda pushed herself away from the doorframe and walked over to Olivia. She put a hand on the brunette's arm. "It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do back then." Blue eyes found brown. "We're here now. OK, the world is fucked but we… we _are_ still here, Liv."

"I know." Olivia rested her forehead against Amanda's. "A little light in all this darkness."

Her eyes fluttered shut as she relished in that quiet moment of blissfulness.

After a minute or so Amanda gently moved away. "We should eat," she said with a smile. Desperate times brought people together and it seemed that this new world they lived in had broken down the walls between her and Olivia. "You spent all that time cooking this. I'd hate for it to go cold."

Olivia merely smiled and the two women sat down at the small breakfast bar and ate their first warm meal in two days. The taste of the sausages was something Amanda had almost forgotten and it was a reminder that before all this she'd taken life itself for granted. Now it seemed stupid she'd expected to be able to get food and water at every street corner, to have a roof over her head and a warm bed to sleep in. In this world, they were lucky to make it to the next morning. It was all that mattered.

"What time is it?" Amanda asked once they'd finished eating and Olivia checked her watch.

"Half past eight," she said softly. "It will be a long time till dawn."

"You think they're waiting for us?"

Amanda asked the question Olivia had only dared to think inside her head. They didn't know if Cragen and Fin even made it back to the house, or if they had tried looking for them. They didn't know if they'd chosen to stick around and wait for them to come home. Even if they were waiting, how long would they be waiting for before they believed they were lost?

"I don't know," Olivia admitted. "I'd like to think so. I hope so."

"They never left us before," Amanda reminded her. "We always stuck together, as a team. They're waiting for us, I know they are." She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or Olivia.

They sat in the small kitchen for another hour, discussing their options for the morning. They'd leave at first light and try to make their way back to the house before dark. Maybe they would find a car along the way and it would get them home faster. They were both aware of the dangers that awaited them beyond the four safe walls of this house.

Amanda followed Olivia up the stairs to one of the bedrooms. She didn't kick off her boots, unsure if she'd feel safe enough to sleep here. Instead she climbed on the bed and folded her hands behind her head before looking at Olivia lying beside her. The brunette stared at the ceiling and for the first time Amanda saw how lost she looked; Olivia's eyes had lost some of their shine.

"Maybe we should stay here," Olivia mused softly. "We have a house, Amanda. We can find a car, we can find food. As long as the doors are covered, we're safe in here…" She didn't look at the younger woman. "It's got gas, we can cook. We can survive the winter here." Her shoulders dropped. "Maybe someone will find a cure…."

Amanda knew Olivia didn't mean what she said. It was the echo of desperation, the longing to feel safe and know they had a chance of making it through.

"I know," was all Amanda said.

Olivia moved closer towards her and her arm snaked around Amanda's waist. Her warm breath tickled the blonde's neck and Amanda felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise up when Olivia's fingers fumbled with her belt buckle. She didn't protest when Olivia undid her button and zip but slowly rolled onto her side and allowed her lips to be captured by Olivia's.

It wasn't a blind of moment passion. It was a search for safety, for warmth, an attempt to feel more than what they felt in this moment; the question about whether they'd still be alive by nightfall tomorrow. It was about feeling another person, about feeling themselves, be human, real and alive and when Amanda's hand dipped behind Olivia's jeans as her other cupped her breasts through her shirt, she felt, for a moment, that the world was no longer broken.

Their bodies rocked together in a firm and quick rhythm, their hands exploring, dipping deeper and lower, slipping through effortless wetness before searching for and finding what they were looking for.

Amanda watched, mesmerized, how Olivia's eyes rolled back into her head as she entered the older woman with two fingers, only increasing her pace. The pants and moans that rolled over Olivia's lips sounded like music to her ears and Amanda kissed every bit of exposed skin she could find, soaking up Olivia's scent and wanting to remember it for every day still to come.

Olivia climaxed moments before Amanda did and her nails dug deeply into Amanda's shoulder. The pain triggered her own release and she collapsed against Olivia's body, their hearts hammering in an insane, simultaneous rhythm. Neither spoke for words couldn't express this moment.

Their arms were wrapped around each other's body, desperately clinging on before the shadows would take over.


End file.
